I almost died.
What got my goat this morning was an incredibly fat woman in an incredibly small car (you know the type) pulling out inches in front of me and causing me to brake and nearly lose the rear end (of my bike, and of my body).

For feck's sake - is your journey really that important that you need to pull out right in front of a fast-moving motorcycle and then drive at 5mph because your pathetic little car can't haul your enormous bulk up a hill?
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:19, 11 replies)

That's rubbish
This is why all motorcyclists should carry a lance.

Harpoon them through the skull.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:21, closed)

^Yes!
What a great idea!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 7 May 2008, 10:24, closed)

(I don't ride a bike)
But I'm a fantastic driver, and wonderfully kind to bikers, so run no risk of being harpooned.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:27, closed)

I'm a good driver too
but motorbikes seem to enjoy riding straight up to my back bumper before nipping out and overtaking with the narrowest of margins, so while I think the lance idea is great, I would be worried about my own back windscreen.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:37, closed)

They'd have to pass
Basic training.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:39, closed)

Basic Knight training gives you the lance
then the more advanced ones could move on to Morning Stars.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:44, closed)

training?
of course, you'd have to go to knight school
(spiggytopes, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:47, closed)

Lancing rear windows
Surely the biker bumper scenario would be curtailed if they had to carry a 5 metre metre lance. They couldn't get close enough for fear of accidental lancing damge, right boosts your premiums thaty does).
(Neostenine's maker, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:49, closed)

Once again
I've come up with a fantastic idea.

Next up is the concept of a wrist-mounted dart gun that can kill a mobile-phone-music-playing idiot at 20 yards.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:57, closed)

I want one of those
I also want a car mounted laser like James Bond had that punctures the tyres of twunts in mercs or BMWs when they overtake after sitting on your bumper and looking pissed off that you have the audacity to be overtaking a lorry in the middle lane at 70mph.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 11:03, closed)

"before nipping out and overtaking with the narrowest of margins"
That's because we don't need as much space as you do when we overtake. From our perspective, we've got loads of room, but from yours it doesn't look the case because you're used to the space needed for cars, not bikes.

We don't need lances, just steel-capped boots to deal with the body panels of a SMIDSY. :P
(Musuko, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:24, closed)