Let's see if we can break the word limit on these things. EPIC RANT IS EPIC.
THINGS WOT TICK ME OFF (in no particular order):

1. People who write "Ok" in fiction. "OK" is the abbreviation, "okay" is what people actually say. Either of those is fine. "Ok" is a typo of wok, you cock.

2. People who don't get the hint when you're blowing them off. I'm stoked that my social life has reached such great heights that more people want to instant message me than I want to instant message (I know, today the internet, on Tuesday Miss Congeniality) but if I'm giving you noncommittal one-lol answers in response to whatever the hell you're blathering on about, that's generally a sign that I've lost interest and am humouring you because I am a nice person. Shut up, I am so.

3. The bizarre level of technophobia in all the literature for my COMMUNICATIONS course. Experts Advise Caution. "New" Media - Good Or Evil? Video Killed The Radio Star - And It's Coming For You(tube).

For heaven's sake. We still write with *pen and paper* when we've had typewriters and computers for decades. I'm sure it's decreasing a little the more portable computers get, but it's not obsolete or redundant by any means. Similarly I always think the people bewailing the internet spelling DOOM for the printed book and the CD have an air of willful hysteria about them. This next change is the harbinger of the apocalypse, no? Well, THIS one then - fine, THIS one. The elusive End Of Society As We Know it is always just over the horizon. I'm doing the reading for our first essay and apparently Andrew Keen thinks Wikipedia spells the death of Encyclopedia Brittanica and its ilk - while simultaneously being unreliable tripe and nonsense. Funny how the new thing is always utter rubbish AND YET taking over the world. Luring us in with its seductive dodginess and shitty quality OF TEMPTATION. Kids these days! This guy just makes me sprain my face for rolling my eyes, honestly.

4. That stage of the flu when absolutely everything smells like children's glue paste.

5. Shopping malls that start playing Christmas carols in September. Why? I mean... it's not like it's the religious segment of the holiday that's slowly stretching out until it devours the year. That's just the commercial crap. As far as I know the Christians are only doing mass and carols and whatever they do on, yaknow, Christmas. Why on earth do we hear carols that early?

6. That *particular* brand of feminist rhetoric where the word rape gets tossed around like confetti and you generally get the impression that the person behind it would prefer to live on the island of Lesbos with a bunch of women and some eunuch servants. I, Madam, am a feminist. You are merely batshit.

7. Book covers from the seventies and eighties. They had nice book covers in the nineteenth century, and they're fine now with the exception of the occasional dreadful fantasy cover art, but that era was just uniformly awful. What happened? Also, apparently the colour orange is edgy or something, cos they sure were itching to slap it on the manifestos, diatribes and anyone who disagrees with people a lot. But what can you expect from a company that prints a tiny hardcover labeled "unwin paperbacks"?

8. BBC film adaptations of Shakespeare. They pretty much universally suck. And because they're very official they were constantly inflicted upon us in high school. Even the version of Macbeth in which the "unsex me here" speech with COMPLETE LACK OF IRONY was accompanied by Lady Macbeth groping herself suggestively.

9. Teenage girls. Yes, I technically remain a teenage girl, but I'm talking about the really irritating little ones that seem to gain some bizarre sort of amusement from interrogating you even though you know for a fact that there's no way they actually like you enough to care about your life. "What kind of shoes does he wear? Do you pash? How often do you pash? Is he a geek? Everyone says he's a geek. Is he shorter than you? I can't believe you don't know what kind of shoes he wears. Why are you going out with a geek? Everyone says he's a geek. What would you do if you found out he was your brother? [yes, really.] Well, you look alike. Well in a hypothetical situation. How come you never answer questions?"

STFU BITCH.

10. Two words: Public. Transport. And the websites that you use to plan your routes. I've heard Things about Whereis, but the one that regularly makes me froth at the mouth is 131500.com, the Aussie public transport aid website. One time a few years ago, I had cause to go to Chatswood, a suburb I'd thus far never been within ten kilometres of. The map I printed out to get me from the train station to the correct bus stop managed to lead me in a huge circle around the train station instead of, oh say, just TELLING ME TO EXIT ON THE OTHER SIDE, and then, for a coup de resistance, authoritatively informed me that my bus stop was on a nonexistant street. I checked very carefully - on the map, there was Albert street, then Dalton street, then Victoria street. In the REAL WORLD, there was just Albert street and then Victoria street. In fact, a cursory examination of a street directory showed that there was in fact NO street called "Dalton" ANYWHERE IN THE SUBURB. I have no idea how they managed to get it onto the map without perhaps consulting real life at all. It takes a really special kind of incompetence to not only MAKE UP A STREET but then tell people to catch buses from it.

Enough!

How's that for impotent rage?
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:19, 13 replies)

I agree...
Especially about the carols in Shopping centres.

In my student days, I worked for a shop called Past Times (gifts for old ladies). The carols we used to play in there.... They were horrfic.

=(
(YayLady is cold, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:31, closed)

Good rant
Try Polanski's Macbeth, our English teacher showed us that when I was 11 - the decapitation scene was particulary memorable.
(Milo Minderbinder, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:34, closed)

RE #9
I got all that at school too and yes, it pissed me off just as much. But don't worry, it all stops when you get to uni!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:57, closed)

Um ... OK is an acronym.
It's not short for "okay" at all.

It's from "Orl Korrect".

Read the rather obviously American-centric details here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okay
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:58, closed)

OK
If the 'correct' word is 'okay', then shouldn't the abbreviation be 'OA'. In fact, most definitions of the word agree that it's supposed to be an abbreviation of various other words (Old Kinderhook, Ola Kala, Oll Korrect). 'Okay' is just a phonetic rendering of 'OK' and so both are equally correct. Plus, I'd expect writers of published fiction (and their editors, publishers, proofreaders etc) to have a better understanding of the facts than you.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 12:58, closed)

I can see how that was confusing.
I didn't mean that it was an abbreviation of "okay," I just meant that "okay" is how you write the actual word people actually say. And if you're going to use the original abbreviation, write it like an abbreviation, not like you've just left the ay off. Writing a sentence like this: ' "Ok." She said. ' just looks weird. It should either be OK or okay, and preferably the latter in ACTUAL DIALOGUE.

Also, I've seen Polanski's Macbeth and... was he on drugs? Or just a little over-enthusiastic about what counted for special effects back then?

Anyway, it doesn't hold a candle to the bizarre black and white Soviet version with all the peasants marching in the snow!
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:06, closed)

sorry but
When I say it, I'm saying the actual letters O and K. So is it OK if I also write it like that?
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:08, closed)

no frank
O and K are actually spelt "Oh" and "kay". Look it up thickie
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:10, closed)

For god's sake
It's the CAPITALISATION.
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:12, closed)

Capitalisation of what?
We did that bit, remember? If it's capitalisation, it should be OA. Unless you mean it's a capitalisation of Ola Kala or Old Kinderhook, in which case 'okay' would be wrong and 'OK' right. In fact, 'okay' means nothing at all - it's just a sound. As is OK, which at least has the benefit of being an actual abbreviation.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:43, closed)

Pet peeve?
Currently myself, for checking this. Apparently either are good.

www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/ok_1?view=uk
(FatFrankTheFifth {insert meme here}, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:08, closed)

^^ I believe I've already said that
above
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:23, closed)

it's like a bizarre hybrid of the abbreviation and the phonetic word. IT'S UNNATURAL I TELL YOU. THIS IS SERIOUS BIZNISS.
*sigh*

Capitalisation. What is the difference in capitalisation between "OK" and "Ok"? Oh, look at that - it's the k. The one that, uncapitalised, signals a normal word, not an acronym. Said normal word would therefor be pronounced "ock" like the end of wok. WHADDAYA KNOW.
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:01, closed)