We've had two days of glorious summer weather
And already the nation's obese are racing to publicly expose as much flesh as possible whilst scoffing pasties and ice cream as fast as they can shovel it down themselves.

I do not wish to see fat, sunburnt, tattooed chavs, covered in pastry crumbs and blobs of ice cream, or their godawful chav tattoos, on beautiful sunshiny days.

*retreats to dark cave to sulk with the other bats*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:50, 22 replies)

Could be worse...
Could be fat wobbly pasty-white chavs.
*bokes*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:51, closed)

There space
In that cave for me?

I went out at lunchtime to sit in the park, and it was swarming with half-naked noisy children, and red, flabby seals-looking things sprawled across the grass.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:52, closed)

@ Kaol
Yes, it has lovely cool beer in it...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:54, closed)

I see the above
and raise you the half naked workmen digging up the road outside my work. It's a good job my stomach was empty, or I'd have barfed right there.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 7 May 2008, 15:54, closed)

Well then...
If you switch the beer with a bottle-of-vodka-from-the-freezer I'm there.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:55, closed)

@Kaol
I'm there already, drinking a beer.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 7 May 2008, 15:58, closed)

Beer, vodka, zoider
Whatever takes your fancy

Ooh! Pimms o'clock!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:58, closed)

I'm fuckin' there!
Well... I just have to er...

Excuse me, it's 4pm.
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:00, closed)

Oh yes
And that as well.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:01, closed)

*heads into nearby cave for 4pm wank*
Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realise there was anyone in here.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:01, closed)

@ al
... come and join us.

Or should that be the other way round?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:07, closed)

Oh I already did
You didn't think just because I was in mixed company that I would stop wanking did you?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:10, closed)

@al
good job it's dark then
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 7 May 2008, 16:11, closed)

@ happylittletulip
"sex! and cake!"

Do I have to choose, or are both on offer?
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:19, closed)

Cake for me
and lots of it. Thank you
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 7 May 2008, 16:23, closed)

you might want to
avoid the cake. It was dark, I thought I was using a hanky.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:23, closed)

@ al
did you just spluff on my cake?

@ kaol - both. immediately.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:25, closed)

Think of it like
"special" icing. Or don't think at all and just assume you used salt not sugar.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:26, closed)

Excellent...
*covers himself in cake and sexes happylittletulip*
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:27, closed)

@ kaol
ooh!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:29, closed)

*grins*
Want to go somewhere goat-free?
Think of it as an early B3taday present...
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:31, closed)

good, i don't like goats
And I love presents!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 7 May 2008, 16:36, closed)