Just because they're fluffeh doesn't mean they're cute.
They're filthy and disturbing too... this is just another of the reasons I fear them:

***************

.. As Tobermory gently edged his fuzzy member deeper in between Orinoco's velvety buttocks he felt the clenched pucker of the young womble's anus dialate and grant him entry. With a deep grunt he thrust home, causing the usually sleepy young one to jump.

The kindly Womble that he was, he then reached around and grasped the base of Orinoco's twitching cock as he started to thrust. "Uncle Bulgaria will want you later" he rasped into his ear... "I'm going to fill you up so you're nice and slippery for him"

The sound of the other Wombles singing the Wombling Song drifted though the turf into the burrow. Unknown to them they changed rhythm; Tobermory thrusting home in time to the verse.

Orinoco's womblehood started to twitch, and, sensing his imminent climax and in anticipation of the rapid clenching of his anus, Tobermoray grabbed him by his ears and started to hammer his young behind for all he was worth...

The trained observer would notice a vague movement in the shadows of the corner of the room as Madame Chaulet watched Tobermory's exposed rear end while menacingly rubbing butter into the shaft of her rolling pin....

*************

Filthy little bastards, they shouldn't be allowed anywhere near public places... let alone encouraged to loiter in the bushes...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:24, 15 replies)

*kneels before greatness*
I am a mere novice by comparison.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:26, closed)

Hahahahaha!!
That is fucking brilliant!
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:26, closed)

that turned me on -
those dirty, dirty wombles.

*wishes it was Wednesday, 4pm*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:28, closed)

Fantastic, but
it needs more traffic cones.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:28, closed)

Not Worthy
"menacingly rubbing butter into the shaft of her rolling pin...."

Ahahahaha! *click*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:36, closed)

And I thought I was the only one
Who thought about womble porn!

Well done sir, two tips of the cap for you
(Formaly Over say's hello, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:42, closed)

If it were even possible...
... a darker and more sinister edition of yesterdays version.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 14:06, closed)

I've read De Sade's 101 days of Sodom...
But I actually think this is more depraved.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 14:45, closed)

I've been reading
about Wombles online, as I had never heard of them before.

If that's what constitutes children's programming over there, it's no wonder you have chavs and asbos all over the feckin' place. That would be enough to turn me seriously anti-social.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:00, closed)

@ TRL
The Wombles were lovely! They were benign and very much part of the green movement and the campaign to keep Britain tidy.

Okay, so they lived in a strange subterranean burrow where one of them was always dressed in a French maid's outfit, another always wore a leather apron and the elder smoked a pipe...but that's all terribly British.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:13, closed)

That's kinda what I mean.
They were saccharine, utopian characters that are so far removed from anything even close to reality that any child who grew up on that would invariably view the real world with disappointment. There's some basis in fact for this- there have been people who grew to hate their families for not being more like the Brady Bunch.

I by far prefer programming that at least partly reflects the world that kids live in- this was why the cartoon "Doug" was so fantastic, as the main character was a very average, slightly nerdy kid just trying to get through life.

But hey, that's just my take on it...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:56, closed)

The Wombles of the Noughties
Tomsk is a Burberry clad, alcoholic Womble with learning difficulties. He regularly comes home pissed, beats Madame Cholet and openly mocks Great Uncle Bulgaria even though he is incapable of spelling "Bulgaria". He also claims £37,000 a year from the state in benefits, doing his bit for the environment by not working. Tomsk owns a Subaru Impreza with no insurance or MOT.

Great Uncle Bulgaria has Alzheimers and thus requires round the clock care. Tomsk is his designated carer. His Alzheimers means that he no longer remembers his secret past as an officer of the Waffen SS during the war. Sometimes he stares wistfully at the battered Iron Cross in his pocket and hums marching songs to himself with a faraway look in his eye.

Madame Cholet is an illegal immigrant womble who came to the UK via Sangatte where she learned to speak with a faux French accent. She is employed as an Outreach Co-Ordinator by nearby Lambeth Council where she manages the £250,000 budget for "socially disadvantaged single female wombles" and is sleeping with a local judge therefore her citizenship application is a mere formality.

Orinoco's cocaine habit is running out of control, so he is forced to make his living as a rent boy in the Clapham Common area and is regularly picked up by MPs. He's been shafted by more Liberals than a European Treaty Referendum.

Tobermory has photographic evidence of Orinoco together with several New Labour front bench MPs and therefore has ensured that Wimbledon common is excluded from the list of potential sites for 2012 Olympic facilities.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 15 Apr 2008, 17:31, closed)

Well, cheers Humpty, (and everybody else)...

It has taken me 4 days to get the song 'Bright Eyes' out of my head...only to replace it with the theme from the wombles.

All together now...

"Underground, Overground, Wombling Free,
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we.
Making good use of the things that we find,
Things that the everyday folks leave behind.

Uncle Bulgaria,
He can remember the days when he wasn't behind The Times,
With his map of the World.
Pick up the papers and take them to Tobermory!

Wombles are organized, work as a team.
Wombles are tidy and Wombles are clean.
Underground, Overground, wombling free,
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we!

People don't notice us, they never see,
Under their noses a Womble may be.
We womble by night and we womble by day,
Looking for litter to trundle away.

We're so incredibly, utterly devious
Making the most of everything.
Even bottles and tins.
Pick up the pieces and make them into something new,
Is what we do!"
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 18:04, closed)

@ PJM
You have serious issues.

xx

@ Mr TwistyCheeky

Is this what you meant?

www.bcharlton.co.uk/TVthemes/womblecd.mp3
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 18:08, closed)