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Phobias

What gives you the heebie-jeebies?

It's a bit strong to call this a phobia, but for me it's the thought of biting into a dry flannel. I've no idea why I'd ever want to or even get the opportunity to do so, seeing as I don't own one, but it makes my teeth hurt to think about it. *ewww*

Tell us what innocent things make you go pale, wobbly and send shivers down your spine.

(

chthonic, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 13:34)

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Tube cooties
It's transmitted by touching the inside of a Tube carriage. London Underground don't warn you about it, but think of all the germy, sweaty people who have touched the place you're touching.

Girls: never let a man touch your ladybits if he's been on the Tube and hasn't washed his hands. You will get teh Tube cooties.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:47, 72 replies)

When I read that header
I thought you were afraid of tube cuties.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:49, closed)

Tube cuties
Are the ONLY thing that makes getting on the trains worthwhile.
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:50, closed)

just
check the cuties for cooties. It spreads like wildfire.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:51, closed)

Good name for a band...
The Tube Cooties.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:52, closed)

^
That's so true!

*forms band*
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:53, closed)

I'll
Play bass!
Woo!
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:54, closed)

I'll play
with myself!

*strums*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:55, closed)

^^^
can i be on triangle please?
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:55, closed)

I'll
fiddle
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:56, closed)

*wishes
he didn't make a sensible suggestion*
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:57, closed)

We may not sound great
but what a spectacle!
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:57, closed)

If we all made musical instruments out of glasses
we could be a spectacle of spectacles!
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:58, closed)

@Kaol: I'm serious
about the fiddling. I'm just not very good at it. I'm much better at fiddling.

*nudges*
*winks*
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

And if we all wore monocles
we could be a spectacle of monocle-d spectaclists!
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

Well if nothing else...
You've put me off Smarties for life.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

@chcb
Was the *wink* and *nudge* really needed?
I mean, you used itallics...
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:01, closed)

@BGB
Only smarties have the cooties
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:02, closed)

Surely
it's time for your flashwank
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:02, closed)

^
No, it's S&M Tuesday today.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:03, closed)

*Whips goat-gimp*

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:03, closed)

I think that some sort
of list needs to be published on the front page. It's so hard to keep up.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:04, closed)

*unzips gimp ask*
Bert, I don't think I like dressing as a goat anymore.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:04, closed)

SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU!
*whips some more*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:06, closed)

The Cube Tooties
could be a wind band (i.e., brass...)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)

@Madam Marlboro
I Wibled it for you:
http://chcb-wible.blogspot.com/
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)

I'll be your singer
So long as I can do my Allison Goldfrapp impression - we have similar hair you see.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)

Nice wibling
I can tell you've done that before.
Is it shit on your own chest saturday, or can i get someone else to do it?
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)

speaking from experience
it's easier to get someone else to do it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:12, closed)

Spread the ...
...love!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:12, closed)

Tuesdays
Are my second favorite, after Wednesdays.

But S&M isn't so much fun when you spend Tuesday nights on your own.
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:13, closed)

re: Saturdays
I prefer to repeat Tuesdays. Or Mondays. Or even Fridays.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:13, closed)

It's only saturday
that's putting me off the faith
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:14, closed)

Look
this isn't like some namby pamby religion like Christianity or Islam, we aren't going to pander to populist movements, or change our scripture to avoid offending certain groups of people. If you aren't going to shit on your chest or a saturday, then you can forget about wanking on a wednesday. The friggin' messiah tests us for a reason people.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:15, closed)

Would you consider
changing it to spanking saturday? I think there'd be more appeal.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:16, closed)

I like the suggestion
As long as I'm the -er, not the -ee
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)

^ in a heartbeat
but I was given this list from on high (well, he was taller than me) and so it is immutable.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)

What about religious holidays?
I'm getting cramp!

(Monday is my favourite)
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)

^^ i think religious holidays
call for some sort of anal ring of participants
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)

religious holidays?
We all go to Butlins for an orgy.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)

Stop whinging Bert!
Keep whipping, I'm not here for my own good you know.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)

My Current F.B...
... introduced her friend to anal Saturdays. They have actually made this a weekly thing.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)

Oh!
When's the Butlins trip?
I'm not sharing a room with anyone, or they'll leave the toilet open when I'm in the shower.
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:20, closed)

Butlins orgy!
Yay!

*timewarps*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:21, closed)

I like the anal ring suggestion
as long as it's at Butlins.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:21, closed)

*snigger*
BUTT lins.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:23, closed)

But which Butlins?
Camber Sands is good for me, but then Canvey Island may be more in keeping.

And should we all wear ceremonial robes? Or not?
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:24, closed)

@Chickenlady
Ceremonial red coats
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:25, closed)

Canvey Island!
It's only 40 mins for me.

*wishes he wasn't so close to inbreeding central*

I'm going to wear a tunic made of salted pork.

A Bacon Jacket.

*wonders why that sounds so damn wrong*
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:25, closed)

Is there going to be a schism amongst Wible followers
will we see a groups of "spankers" falling out with "shitters". It could divide the country in two. We would have group of "spanking" children walking to school through "shitting" areas getting screamed at and having to be protected by neutral soldiers. We might have to build huge concrete walls to separate the spankers and the shitters.

apologies if this appears to make light of the norn iron situation, I'm very pleased things seem to have settled down recently
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:26, closed)

I'm firmly
in the spanking camp. Firmly.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:26, closed)

I think we've already sorted the entertainment
what with CHCB and her incredible talents
*hopes someone else will remember the sentence*
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:27, closed)

@Kaol
You've just reminded me of the night i made everyone finish their shots with a ham chaser.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:28, closed)

I'm with you, chcb.
Well, right behind you with the spanking.
Firmly behind you.
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)

Spanking v Shitting
Surely the shitters would need to be equipped with hoses?! Therefore, this follower of the CHCB religion would be a spanker...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)

I can;t wait to see the
whoopin' hoopin' paint stripper in person.

Although what is CHCB going to do while Ms O'Shaughnessey is performing?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:29, closed)

I think the shitting schism should go off alone
And we should keep Spanking Saturday.

This is rather like the early days with Saint Peter, don't you think?

And the red jackets will match beautifully with the rosy red arse cheeks at the end of Spanking Saturday.

If we keep Shit on your Chest Saturday the dry cleaning bills are going to be horrendous.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:30, closed)

Well okay
I'll try the spanking

I just don't want to be left alone

Incidentally, what the hell is a ham chaser?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:32, closed)

@Al
Well, it's...

*Leaps up and runs after him with a huge piece of pig-meat*
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:33, closed)

A ham chaser
is based on the concept of a tequila shot. But you bite the ham at the end.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:33, closed)

Al
I think a ham chaser is what the men in Essex become each Saturday night.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:34, closed)

^MFOTFABL
@ "Bite the ham"

EDIT: Oi! @ Chickenlady. I'm from Essex :(
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:35, closed)

I have
updated the Wible accordingly. I was never that fond of Saturdays but now I am tingling in anticipation.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:37, closed)

^^I feel
somewhat special, to have influenced such change.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)

thanks - it was a good choice
it feels just like the Reformation, only more fun.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)

I can't stop thinking
about the spanking chamber at torture garden. Which i've just remembered is in a church. Maybe we could fashion some sort of butlins there.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:41, closed)

Torture Garden
I love the idea of all the rubber and leather crowd calling us perverts when we troop in in red coats.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:44, closed)

Kaol
I spent the weekend in Essex and he himself is an Essex lad....
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:50, closed)

"He Himself"?
Who? Jesus? Voldemort? Prince?
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)

'Tis I, innit.
Ahem

I hail from North Essex, the land of Constable, Matthew Hopkins and Darren Day. And Sade.

pedant
The native accent of the town of my birth is folksy, rich with undertones of olde Englishe. However, it is nearly extinct thanks to the relentless spread of jarring, screechy Estuary Essex, for which my home county will be forever tainted.
/pedant
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 15 Apr 2008, 17:06, closed)

I'm sure he'd answer to each and any of those names
But you may know him as PJM.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 17:06, closed)

Ah I see!
Wheres yoo from daan eesix den?

I'm so so sorry
(

Cawl, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 17:13, closed)

Gee, can I bring a date?

(

The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 15 Apr 2008, 18:05, closed)

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