Dystopia
For every wholesome, fluffy and smug Star Trek-esque vision of the future there are at least ten different visions prophesizing post apocalyptic doom in one way or another. On one hand we have politically correct explorers empathising their way around the galaxy in vast, shiny spacecraft, while on the other we have visions of urban decay and the slow drawn out battle for survival of the human spirit in the face of sentient chrome cyborgs, weapons of mass destruction or alien enslavement.

Dystopian visions of the future are a morbidly popular theme, we have 1984, Mad Max, The Tripods, 28 Days Later, Threads, Soylent Green and Planet of the Apes. It's too easy to convince yourself that the human race is headed straight into any one of a number of unpleasant fates. Frankly, it gives me the proverbial willies.

However, my most terrifying vision of the future is best illustrated by the oft-neglected film Brazil, a scary prophecy of a vicious bureacracy left to grow out of control while the meek but cheerfully British society portrayed does its best to muddle on, wholly accepting the callous instruments of a malignant government.

Imagine saying to a time traveller from the 1990s that the future will be "exactly the same, but slightly more shit" as you try to explain chavs, GATSOs, Pop Idol and Ken Livingstone. No, humans aren't travelling around the solar system a la 2001 but on the other hand, you can inflict shit R&B music from your mobile phone on miserable commuters in the middle of a crowded train. I feel rather cheated.

Given the choice, I'm not entirely convinced that a good proportion of folk wouldn't rather be enslaved by killer robots instead.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:40, 18 replies)

agreed,
but what, pray, is a GATSO?
(jennymnemonic, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:44, closed)

I'm not sure...
some dystopias would suit me quite nicely, I think. (Then, of course, they wouldn't be dystopias for me, would they?) I reckon archaeologists have the cutting edge when it comes to social collapse: we have the insider scoop on how things were done in the past and can rebuild civilisation with limited technology and set all the others to work in the Interweb mines.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:44, closed)

GATSO
GATSO = Speed Camera.

Traffic law is the only area of British Law where the defendant is judged to be guilty until proven innocent.

Before you ask, no I've never been zapped by one but the legal precident scares the bejeezus out of me.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:46, closed)

@chcb
I might not be an archaeologist, but I'd make one hell of a survivalist.

I'd also make a fantastic post-apocalyptic king.
I'd have a throne made of tyres, skulls and rusty metal.
( Cawl, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:53, closed)

Dystopia...
Isn't that an upset stomach.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:55, closed)

@Kaol
did you watch too much Mad Max as a child?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:57, closed)

^^
I think Aldous Huxley was eerily prophetic in his depiction of a segregated area outwith the bounds of civilised society where uneducated natives engage in tribal behaviour and frenzied, unregulated rutting. Dewsbury, I believe it is called.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 10:59, closed)

No...
We didn't have a TV until I was 13.

I used to play in the forests near my house.

I can make lethal spikey things out of sticks, and all kinds of snares.
I'm ready for the collapse of society.

Who says television is important for a growing lad?
( Cawl, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:01, closed)

True Factoid!
1984 is quite heavily based on a rather good book by Yevgeny Zamyatin called We.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:03, closed)

True Factiod
George Orwell's real surname was Blair
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:05, closed)

@CHCB
I did not know that, and as 1984 is one of my favouritest books, I shall have to look that up.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:05, closed)

@CHCB
Top trivia! This shall be mentioned during the next round of cognac and Galoises with my more Bohemian aquaintances.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:07, closed)

^Thanks
It's now in my Amazon wishlist!
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:08, closed)

Even worse
Go back to 'Tomorrow's World' in the sixties and seventies.

Where is my hover-car?
Where is my personal robot servant?
Why aren't we living on concentrated food pills in zero-G habitats?

We got: Chavved-up Saxos.
The only robots are Cabinet members.
McDonalds is allowed to call it's various outlets 'Restaurants'.

I feel cheated. And every year the 'slightly more shit' level rises.

However we could make a start by allowing Radio 4 'Today' presenters to bitch-slap Home Secretaries when they are blatantly avoiding questions. (Bit off topic but 'twas on this morning)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:17, closed)

^
We could give Today presenters tasers. That'd be ace. I'd let John Humphreys loose with a taser; he'd be a journo vigilante!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:20, closed)

Well said Osok
I liked the way you managed to mix dystopia with a little bit of politics.

Paxo "So, Home Secretary, what do you intend to do about the rising rates of youth crime?"

Home Sec "About half past twelve. We're Listening!"

Paxo "Why are more and more of Britain's youth resorting to knife crime?"

Home Sec "Well, firstly I've always admired UB40 and "Don't Break My Heart" holds very special memories for me. If I were stuck on a desert island this would certainly be one of my discs. We're STILL listening!"

Paxo "Do you think that fewer and fewer prison places might be a factor in keeping these individuals in society?"

Home Sec "In real terms, more and more people are turning their back on a life of crime according to official statistics. Therefore in real terms New Labour is excellent and people love paying much more tax and in real terms people want fewer and fewer services in return"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Apr 2008, 11:57, closed)

CHCB
It would have made this morning so much nicer and would have made me all fluffy....

'Today Bint': "are these 300 extra police officers Home Secretary"

Jaqui Waste Of Oxygen: "blah waffle integration waffle community blah terrorism Isn't Gordon wonderful"

TB: "could you answer my question please Home Secretary"

JWOO: "blah waffle...

ZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPP!

JWOO: "aaaaaarrrggghh dribble spasm spasm collapse pisses passes out"

TB: "Bring in Livingston. Search him for newts first" *reloads Taser*

TB: "Naughtie- bring us a cuppa, beatch"
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 12:40, closed)

Sadly, dystopia is more likely.
Watch Idiocracy for a really scary and entirely too likely look at the subject...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 16 Apr 2008, 20:15, closed)