Horses
My mother is terrified of horses because, when I was a baby, some racehorses got loose from a field and were running across the causeway towards our car. Other cars were honking their horns and trying to drive on but my dad pulled over. The horses then ran right over the car, trampling in the roof and breaking the windscreen. My parents thought I was dead because my carrycot had been flattened down behind the seats. I'm tougher than that though.

(In additional insult-to-injury the landed gentry who owned the racehorses tried to sue my parents as the animals were no longer fit to race.)

So yeah, my mum is terrified of horses.
Me? I love horses.

Tis true.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 11:50, 12 replies)

Nice try CHCB...
But I'm not clicking that linky... :)

(But yes, horses are EVIL and your ma has it spot on!)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 11:51, closed)

Long nosed freaks
Horses scare me, they're large, have an evil sense of humour and people that ride them on roads seem to have a certain holier than thou attitude.

Then there is the staggering amount of shit they drop on the ground.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 17 Apr 2008, 11:57, closed)

I dislike horses
Not scared of them, but dislike the snooty manner in which they look at you.

I also had my arse nipped while making sweeeet love in the hay once... Horse was being protective of his mistress.... damned big bruise it was too.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:06, closed)

you actually made sweet love in the hay?
I am quite impressed by that as it seems romantic yet I know my hayfever/asthma would kick in and my groans would turn to wheezes and I'd sneeze all over whoever was unfortunate enough to be with me at the time.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:08, closed)

as long as
horses don't love you thats fine.

That Catherine the Great thing is an urban miff as well.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:17, closed)

Halfy...
"Urbane muff", surely?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:29, closed)

ok... I say "sweet love"..
.. but what I really mean is we were fucking ourselves into oblivion... the hay is kinda prickly... It's a bad idea all over really... but when needs must...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:29, closed)

ABSOLOUTLY NSFW
*NSFW*

Urban myth my (and her) ass....

I just googled it to make a point... shit.. I just did it at work...

NSFW
www.horsesex.es/
NSFW

google it...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:31, closed)

@humpty
I meant that there is a legend that old Russian queen Catherine the Great died from having a horse fall on her during copulation, it was apparently held in the air by some rope / pulley construction that collapsed.

Not sure that there would be pictures of it, unless she employed a very fast sketch artist.

Wasn't much need fo the interweb in olden times
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 12:47, closed)

Oh...
Now I feel strangely disappointed... =(

Hmm... "bring the court artist, and tell him he'll need lots of pink and cream"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 13:01, closed)

@ Humpty
I sincerely hope it was straw and not hay you did it on.

While hay is far softer and sweeter smelling, it's also EATEN by livestock...whereas straw is generally bedding - and therefore appropriate for shagging on, if scratchy.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 13:08, closed)

Straw scratches like hell...
I don't care if they eat it or not... If I can happily eat a lass's mimsy and she can eat me, then horses shouldn't have an issue... Juicy hay... mmmmmm :)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 13:13, closed)