Well, not really a dumping...
We lay there, in the bed. The sunlight was just creeping through the curtains, and she lay there, staring at me.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened, I really am. I never meant to say the things I did, and I'd really like to make it up to you. I've been thinking things over all night, and I think I've come to a decision. I just really want to know what you're thinking. Please, just tell me."

I stared back at her, the one woman I knew who was foolish enough to let me sleep with her, but one who'd tried to ruin my life afterwards. Here it was, the carrot of reconciliation being hung in front of my nose, and all I had to do to get a bolt-on shag was to say something romantic.

I cleared my throat, breathed in, and said those words that every woman longs to hear.

"I'm just wondering if Matteo will be fit enough to start today. Our defence has been pretty shaky without him."

I had to fish my jeans out of a bush, and I never did get the shoe that she threw at my face back.
(Psycorp603, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:29, 10 replies)

another fine example
of why women should never, ever ask a man what he's thinking. Or vice versa, come to that.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:32, closed)

^this
quite often I lie in my bed staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, or rather with my thoughts flitting through hundreds of different subjects.

my face at rest also looks kind of angry (it's the eyebrows)

When asked what I'm thinking/looking at, I reply "nothing". Mrs Vipros takes offence to this, thinking that I'm angry with her.

if I'm angry, I'll tell you!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:36, closed)

@Psycorp
Leeds fan?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:47, closed)

Leeds?
Oh yes. I was right. Our defence was shaky without him.
(Psycorp603, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 15:51, closed)

A girl once made the mistake
Of asking me what I was thinking.
She didn't believe me when I said "nothing".

She was upset when I said "What would happen if you covered a baby in honey and left it near an ant nest."
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 16:02, closed)

@Psycorp
Indeed it was.
*Reminisces wistfully on on better days*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 16:07, closed)

^this
women need to accept that we aren't thinking about them all the time

sometimes we are thinking about how best you can create a 3d topographic map using loads of tiny magnets and metal rods
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 16:07, closed)

.
Reminds me of this.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 20:23, closed)

^
I fucking love xkcd. My life is xkcd.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 21:45, closed)

yep yep yep
(although remove the football reference)
It's such a stupid question. There's no way I'm going to tell other people what's running around in my head.
I find myself linked strongest to Kaol's baby and ants.
And I suffer from the angry face too, Vipros, so generally people think I'm pissed off. Not a good look mid-coitus.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 11:04, closed)