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Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."
Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?
( , Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
« Go Back
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The old advice seems to work the best.
"Be yourself" is what your parents always say...
I did that, and I was dumped quicker that a bowl of branflakes after a packet of laxatives.
*waits for the inevitable slew of night crew responses*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:04, 172 replies)
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So much for this bowl of frosted mini-wheats I was just about to start eating.....
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:09, closed)
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Haha!
You can't eat that at night can you?
I managed to miss out on dinner tonight.
*frowns*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:10, closed)
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Speaking of cereal, Kaol sort of sounds like Kelogg.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:12, closed)
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You must be saying it wrong.
They both start with a "K"...
That's it.
I didn't get home from work until an hour ago.
*frowns*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:14, closed)
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Been home from work for an hour.
On my third can of cider.
Was too late to go to the shop to get dinner.
So... I've got chewing gum or cabbage.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:16, closed)
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Kellogs, pronounced Kayl-logs, yes?
;)
Evening Mrs Becky.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:16, closed)
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Kale, like the veg.
Kell-og-s.
EDIT @ Ms Explosion: I married you in your absence. It was lovely. We had a band, and some wedding cake.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:18, closed)
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You pronounce the S seperately? You wierdo...
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:19, closed)
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But cabbage-breath is a ladykiller.
And I have to feed my tortoise.
I guess there're always locusts.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:21, closed)
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You trying to say you don't like the taste of vomit? I have to say, it's the opposite to children/farts, it's better if it's someone else's.
@ Kaol
Locusts are too crunchy and they wriggle on the way down.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:22, closed)
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Looks like I have two husbands now. I choooose.....
Pikachu ,)
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:23, closed)
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You have to crunch the head.
Then throw away the back legs, they're spikey.
EDIT: It's obvious who you should choose...
With your beating-up and sword skills, and my intimidation and brutality, we could star in our own film.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:23, closed)
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which makes his annulled.
*puts on a pickachu outfit just incase*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:24, closed)
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Chewing gum wrapped in cabbage?
I think that sounds quite
Get the catalogue thing finished in the end?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:24, closed)
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And as I was doing it for the Chairman, I asked if I could have next Friday off.
And he said yes.
So... Post-b3ta bash hangover won't be at work.
@ Ms Explosion: I'll never join you in that. EVER.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:26, closed)
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but the thought of cabbage flavoured chewing gum has put me right off, so I think I'll go to bed.
I don't even like mint chewing gum, FFS. Horrible stuff.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:26, closed)
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It's "Night Crew", I decided.
Because a crew needs a Captain.
And I'm the man for the job.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:28, closed)
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yes! Join my 'B3tards Against Chewing Gum' group. It doesn't exist, but if it did, you could join it.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:28, closed)
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You pathetic little fiend, you woose!
*bludgeons in anger*
@ Kaol
Not sure if I'll be coming to the bash next week, I've yet to decide.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:28, closed)
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I put someone off!!
Just like I put those queer-o-sexuals off when they were after my ass-parts.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:28, closed)
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Definitely. I'll be in that.
@Becky - allegiance to whom or what?
@Kaol - aye aye, Cap'n.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:29, closed)
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Is anyone else watching the brain deads on big brother? They're all talking about disrespecting each other and how wrong it is and then flat out refusing to listen to what the other person has to say.
pot.kettle.black.hooker.dead
Edit: To my manslave hareem k2k6
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:31, closed)
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You had Brown Bandits trying to plunder your poo-pipe?
I sense a story...
@ Becky: I don't have a TV. So no. I'm listening to a song on the Weezer website, because I sang it yesterday on Rock Band, and I wanted to see if it was any good.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:31, closed)
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The best description of it I ever heard was 'the bungalow of the damned'.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:31, closed)
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no, no Big Brother for me. I'm listening to Radio 4.
*is pathetic and old before her time*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:32, closed)
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No, no I'm not. Because I'm not a working class violent person who happens to live in a council house.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:32, closed)
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Not sure, car crash tv I guess. Still hoping someone will actually drive a humvee in there and play carmageddon with their bodies
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:32, closed)
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So long as it doesn't upset the Friggin' Messiah, and I get to use the Hydropool (when it's not full of dog hair), then I'm in!
Edit - I watched BB once, against my better judgment. It served only to confirm to me that my judgment was quite accurate.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:33, closed)
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Do you think not having a tv contributes to your slight, erm, unbalanced nature?
There could be a story if you want. Damn ass-bandits.
I'm watching the apprentice: you're fired. They're using a Calvin Harris track. I know his mum.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:36, closed)
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Sure you can use it, only it's more of a treadmill with glass and steel sides that fills up with water then forces you to walk. Not as much fun to be in as the pool I worked at before.
Your first task as newly recruited manslave is to make all of the B3talovelyladies (tm) the alcoholic drink of their choice. Mine's a double southern comfort and lemonade...no ice. Ancrenne'll have a double vodka and diet coke.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:36, closed)
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Actually my motivation for wanting to use the pool was seeing you in your skimpy swimsuit...
"et al" doesn't mean that Al, BTW.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:38, closed)
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is basically warmed water in a contained space that animals can use in order to alleviate pain in. Usually for joint and muscle pain, but also good for after spinal ops and cruciate ops.
Where I worked before it was a swimming pool about 3 ft deep and the person had to get in as well, but now it's more controlled, about 4 ft long, 2 ft wide and has a running machine type base and fills up with water to the required height and the animal is encouraged to keep walking.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:39, closed)
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pool is too small I'm afraid and I don't swim anymore, I'm scared of water.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:40, closed)
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So no skimpy garmentry then, Becky? Boo.
Think I'll be off to bed in that case. I need an early night.
'night all. See you all in the morning.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:42, closed)
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Uhm, sorry... But Scotland must be really crap if the only skimpy garmentry you know of is swim suits...
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:43, closed)
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I live outside of the delivery areas...
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:44, closed)
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nobody made you live in a crap area.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:47, closed)
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Not have any other food? No cereal or anything?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:47, closed)
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Kaol, are there seriously no other delivery places near you? Not even a petrol station you can walk to?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:48, closed)
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This man lives 40 minutes from a bus stop, I wouldn't hold out much hope.
Kaol, I finally got a new bass case today, hoorah! It now no longer threatens to exit through the large hole whenever I pick it up.
edit
Evening ancrenne, m'dear. Nice dinner?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:50, closed)
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I live far from everything!
It's ok, if I drink enough I'll stop being hungry...
I just found some peanuts.
They may or not be bird ones.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:52, closed)
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how goes m'lovely?
You only have me for another 8 minutes. :( That goes to all of you.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:52, closed)
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It's like in the supermarket they have stuff for baking and stuff for eating, the stuff for baking comes in bigger and cheaper packs... Doesn't mean you HAVE to bake with it.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:53, closed)
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why do you hate shops?
Belgaer, before you go, did you accept the job offer today?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:55, closed)
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It doesn't take a genius.
I think I have heard of sag aloo before. And possibly eaten it too.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:56, closed)
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Panir is cheese, aloo is tatti and sag is spinach, I think.
@ Becky
They gave me some temp work, worthwhile doing for now, but I won't stick at it forever. Heard from the vets yet?
Edit #2: Right, gonna have to be strict and go to bed. Night all, wish me luck!
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 22:56, closed)
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it'll be good to get back into the job market even if just for a while.
Nope, not heard yet, but I only left there about 5.30 so their head office would have been closed by then. Hopefully tomorrow.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:00, closed)
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Ooh that sounds good. Does that mean you get to go in and 'mingle' at the festivals too?
POD: I'm guessing beer flavoured vodka?
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:03, closed)
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That it's orange and will give you diabetes.
EDIT: What you're drinking, not my penis.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:05, closed)
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I actually thought about that earlier on, and really hope it doesn't happen.
I like sugar far to much.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:06, closed)
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Most folk are older than me. But some day I will grow up.
Maybe.
Ok, not going to happen.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:09, closed)
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lol, I think we are in fact the same person as I dispise shopping as well. I fail as a girl.
POD, but just think of how good it would taste - well provided that the recipient liked beer and vodka that is
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:11, closed)
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I saw the word ferric, and therefore felt it was good for me, as iron is good for you, or so I'm led to believe.
And yes, you know what drink it is too :)
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:12, closed)
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but in two seperate bodies...
*sexes you both on the earleg*
Okay, shirt ironed, best actually go to bed now. Night all. :P
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:17, closed)
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I guess you know about that thing... You know... Us... With... The stuff?
EDIT: Night Bell-gayer! Good luck tomorrow!
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:18, closed)
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well there is that I guess. Plus, I don't have the job yet...trying not to tempt fate as I was gutted when I didn't get a job three interviews ago as it was such a nice place.
Umm yeah Kaol. *nods furtively and pretends to know what he's on about*
Night B
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:24, closed)
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I don't get to stay up far too late tonight, stupid having to be at work at 730 tomorrow morning. Meh.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:31, closed)
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Sex.
Hanging on my every word.
Bringing me alcohol.
Anything else I add to this list.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:34, closed)
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tries to remember who she's recruited so far
We've got
K2k6
Belgaer
POD
Edmund
Bert
spakkaman
DIT
Errorist
So not a bad haul really
Edit: As for duties...not sure really. I think power went to my head when it was so easy to recruit them with the promise of alcohol, sex and cake, so I forgot to get them to do stuff. Well some of them at least can stand around and look pretty while the others do stuff
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:35, closed)
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I didn't sign up, I said I was standing for freedom rather than joining.
It's all lies I tells ya.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:36, closed)
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PoD bats for MY team.
*needs a less gay-sounding analogy*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:37, closed)
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You don't want to be in my hareem POD? It's where all the cool kids hang out. Hence Kaol isn't there ,)
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:38, closed)
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So I can either stop washing...
Or get it tattooed onto you?
*grabs biro and pin*
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:40, closed)
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your one sounds all grubby and horrible Kaol, glad I'm not part of it
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:41, closed)
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And also, you now miss out on having a product design engineer in your ranks, who could have designed that fountain for you.
What a shame.
Kaol and I shall just have to enjoy it instead.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:41, closed)
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And you won't be Healthy OR Safe.
Or know what to do in a fire.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:44, closed)
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We'll find someone else to make vodka fountains and everlasting non cancergiving cigarettes and other such things.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:44, closed)
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Mostly because it seems too good to be true.
Also, I have a large stash here, so you will be waiting a good while.
Plus it's reduced at Tesco just now :)
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:45, closed)
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Energy drink version of it?
Called "30" or something.
Was nice.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:47, closed)
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It is good. It is also the colour of blood orange juice, so that should make you like it even more.
yay for 32mg of caffeine per 100ml!!
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:49, closed)
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Next time I'll mix it with vodka.
For cool points.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:50, closed)
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I mean, er, something considerably less gay.
Nope, that ain't a good one to use either.
EDIT
Right, I should head off, as my alarm is going to go off in far too few hours from now.
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:54, closed)
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I still think you should join us though. We'll have plentiful cake and stuff.
Hell Ancrenne, if we got the cigarettes I'd throw down the crown of B3talovelyladies and get stuck into the hareem myself ,)
( , Wed 11 Jun 2008, 23:59, closed)
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looks like it
I'm on a random dating site looking for pretty men to snare and at this time of night it's looking pretty few and far between.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:05, closed)
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Which is why I'm gonna try and use b3ta like one...
I mean the "decent sense of humour" box is well and truely ticked.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:07, closed)
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I was about to get it on with Ancrenne too :(
Oh well. Dating sites can be fun you know. So long as you don't take them seriously, a lot of fun can be had if you're as bad as meeting people as I am.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:11, closed)
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Just thought I'd pop by for a bit before I went off to bed.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:11, closed)
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Who knows, if I flirt with enough people I might strike it lucky...
Also, a pig that wears boots: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/north_yorkshire/7448006.stm
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:15, closed)
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Ahh but if you're socially retarded like I am then it's worthwhile doing Ancrenne. I rarely drink so am not usually found in pubs, grew out of clubbing when I was 18 and when I'm working dont have time to meet guys as I do long hours.
Edit: Kaol, let me get this right, you want to flirt with B3tagirls and pigs that wear wellies?
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:15, closed)
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Evening A. Goes fine.
Re dating sites: I’ve used them myself in the past. I’ve actually met a few interesting people from them. The only problem is that usually, you don’t have any mutual friends so you only see each other in one-on-one situations.
Re: "decent sense of humour" box is well and truely ticked: Amen my brother.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:20, closed)
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Other than b3ta, obviously.
I'm debating opening another can.
I tried those peanuts. They were gross, which leads me to believe that they're for birds.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:22, closed)
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my futurama box set while I wait for a decent copy of Indy 4 to download and drinking cherry coke.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:26, closed)
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I’d say that QOTW is sort of like a reverse dating site. Instead of trying to present yourself at your best, you wait for an appropriate QOTW to come along to give you a chance to explain yourself at your worst amongst others who are sharing their experiences on that topic.
@becky
I wouldn’t say “socially retarded”. I’d just say “unusual person”. Saying that the only people who use Internet dating sites are sad losers is like saying that the only people who smoke dope are black guys with dodgy haircuts.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:28, closed)
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Nah, I'd say socially retarded as I'm really shy when I first meet people until I get to know them a bit, then they can't shut me up. Would love to be a bit more even, but it's not in my nature.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:30, closed)
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Am sucking a lemon-mint sweet and debating whether or not to go to bed.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:31, closed)
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Is that you can get a good idea of a person's character.
I mean, obviously some people put up a front.
I doubt Apeloverage is like that all the time, for real.
*shrugs*
*has made point*
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:35, closed)
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Hang on a sec Kaol, are you saying that you're not really a knife wielding nutter IRL then?
Is most disappointed
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:39, closed)
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But... I'm pretty much the same.
I think I scare/worry a lot of people, as I'm quite deadpan making jokes and comments.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:41, closed)
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Another problem with dating sites is if you or the other person are creative, they use their imagination to fill in gaps in their knowledge about the other person when they only half know them, and the creative writing skills can gloss over perceived imperfections. But even so, once I’ve decided where I’m going to end up when I get my next job, I recon I’d give them another try.
@becky re growing out of clubbing:
Sometimes I think I have but then realise it’s the music not being as good as it once was. I was once bored in a nightclub, asked the DJ to play an old-skool rave track from 10 years previous, and when he did, I got up and danced like a madman.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:47, closed)
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I used to organise and DJ all the rock nights at my uni, was great fun, but limited the amount of dancing time I had, and the amount that I could get away with drinking.
Plus when I go to anywhere that they're DJing music I know, my ear is "tuned in" to mistakes.
Which is annoying. So I prefer gigs.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:52, closed)
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There is more pressure in a dating environment for you to like each other, but I'm generally pretty honest with people and tell them upfront if I don't find them sexyback.
I go to gigs more than clubs now Spakkaman as I prefer the music. Impossible to meet people though as it's so loud and you'd look a bit odd going to a gig by yourself to pick guys up.
I'm myself on here and was really nervous about posting the qotw about breaking the ex's legs as I figured I'd probably get slated for it and be called a psycho, so was really surprised when it was only one who called me out on it. QOTW'rs are lovely.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:55, closed)
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That was because I posted the first reply.
And I'm the king of QOTW.
Others follow where I lead.
Edit: May not be true.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 0:57, closed)
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nicely done :)
I still get asked ID for cigarettes on a regular basis and I'm going to be 30 this year. Fucking annoying when you don't have any on you.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:09, closed)
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To buy alcohol.
And they ended up serving me anyway.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:11, closed)
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I second that.
QOTW has a high concentration of women who are creative, eccentric and intelligent.
Re what ancrenne and Kaol said about getting an idea of people's characters: I pretty much agree.
I’ve chosen to be honest, but sometimes, I can be a bit enigmatic to prevent certain people from the real world (e.g. potential employers) from stumbling upon my b3ta account and deducing from my post-history who I am. I do however find that I feel I can be much more open than with all but my closest real-life friends.
@ ancrenne re: describing yourself. One thing about dating sites is that I’ve learned some things about myself by trying to think of how to describe myself.
Re: Not quite right: I tend to focus on the positives myself. The first woman I met on a dating site, we got on like a house on fire the first date, but things just petered out.
@becky re: shy and then can’t shut you up: I can sometimes be like that too.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:12, closed)
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Why do you think I'm not a /boarder?
I can photoshop just fine...
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:16, closed)
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*looks forward to QOTW meet-up*
It'll be like going to get a new guitar!
But sexier!
EDIT: I do not see women as objects.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:20, closed)
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course you don't dear ,)
Anyhow kids, I'm knackered and have to be up before 12.30 to get a recorded delivery letter tomorrow morning.
I'm off to bed. Night
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:27, closed)
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Re being honest and open:
I find that I get a lot of positive feedback when I bear my soul on QOTW, and am amazed at what other people are willing to share with us.
@becky re psycho
Reading your story, he deserved it. As someone who’s been shy and lacking in confidence myself (and also a martial artist), I can see where you’re coming from in not having left him earlier.
@ancrenne re being crap at noticing when someone is interested finding it all but impossible to chat someone up or any such thing:
Same goes for me too.
Re being ID’d for booze: When I went to the States aged 29, that happened to me.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:28, closed)
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I won't be on tomorrow afternoon.
*frowns*
I'll miss the new question.
Rubbish.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:28, closed)
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Have not read all the replies to this thread but hope the job interview went well.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:29, closed)
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I won't be coming to the June one. Leave some for me :)
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:31, closed)
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A combination of alcohol and scary-ness will see to that.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:32, closed)
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Instead of checking a load of checkboxes and computing who has the highest percentage-match, we could all make a list of who we should think should pair up with who, but not include ourselves on the list. We should then compare lists and see what we end up with.
@ancrenne
Here here. We all seem to be people who have likeminded tastes of humour (the b3ta sense of humour), yet we believe in integrity and openness. Coming here brings these characteristics out in myself.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:51, closed)
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It's morning where I'm at (Hong Kong) at the moment ... who's up for a chat?
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:54, closed)
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Hello!
I liked your post yesterday.
@ancrenne
If we're gonna be the last to get picked we should hook up... *flirts*
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 1:59, closed)
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...at Kaol and ancrenne
Thanks for the comment on yesterdays post. I pondered whether or not to post it for ages before finally biting the bullet.
What's the plan ancrenne on the new job front?
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 2:02, closed)
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Hi Edmund:
I'm feeling sleepy and will soon be going to bed.
@kaol: Tricky.
Maybe this is best left answered once we've all met up in real life (or at least left until I've had some sleep).
@ancrenne:
I see what you mean about telling stories. I'm waiting for a QOTW to come up that will squeeze a good-un out of me.
IIRC, there's more men than women on this site. But at least there's newcomers from time to time.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 2:03, closed)
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Is 95% male.
Angry, sexually frustrated men.
*stays away*
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 2:13, closed)
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That seems about right. I posted something about my experiences on /board on the big Monday day-thread.
PS. Is it just me or do they have two open image challenges going on at once?
PPS. @Edmund: Liked your post.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 2:19, closed)
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i'd imagine (this is just a guess) that the following population variables are on the board:
age clusters around 30 - 40
m:f split around 85:15
degree:non degree split around 65:35
emp:unemp split around 80:20
also i think that most of us have higher (i.e., beyond first) degrees too
and obviously all IT literate (whatever that means in this day and age ;))
Ed.
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 2:24, closed)
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