P*ssing in the park and others
Story 1:

One night when out driving around with a car full of disreputable types we were driving through a very large city park that is generally deserted at night we all decided that there was a need to relieve our internal tensions.

So I pull over to the side of the road and we all proceed to empty our bladders. This park is heavily wooded and all of us jumped when a PA blared from a hidden cop car in some nearby bushes.

From the voice the cops were obviously too drunk to chase us but the had fun singing (yes, actually singing in a slurred voice) "you can't dooooo that!"

Story 2:

We had a friend, L, who was not the brightest bulb in the pack. One night were were near some railroad tracks drinking. A train was approaching from the distance and for some reason had a blue light flashing. One of the lads said "Quick! Run L! That's a police train!"

About 5 minutes of almost having to sit on L ensued as he was panicking trying to get us to flee the police train.

Story 3:

I had purchased a SHO right after they were introduced and my brother and I were driving down to the beach with a couple in the back to spend the weekend at their grandparents beach house. The car had about half a liquor store inside though we had not started sampling the wares. My brother was driving. It was about 2:00 AM. The road was completely open and straight, no other cars were present, and we had the radar detector on.

Suddenly my brothers starts cursing under his breath. "I think I passed a police car on the feeder." "So?" I replied. "If he was sitting there he didn't have his radar on."

My brother darkly replied "He wasn't sitting there. He was probably going about 60 mph and we passed him going about 100". Sure enough the lights come on in the distance.

We are pulled over and there are two highway patrolmen in a mustang. One was obviously a new rookie teamed up with a veteran. The rookie was practicing his intimidation routine with my brother having pulled him out of the car (in shorts, no shoes or shirt, and looking like cr*p) and was giving him all sorts of grief.

I was worried that the car not being in his name was a problem and so got out to explain that I was the owner. The veteran ran over yelling at me to get back in the car. I was able to stammer out that it was my car, I had let my brother drive, we hadn't been drinking (despite bottles piled up by the back window), etc. The vet stopped, looked me up and down, said "your car, huh?", paused, then asked "how does it run?".

"Like a spotted arsed baboon" I replied. "Want to see the engine?". His eyes lit up and he said "Sure! I've been reading about these things!". So I went over to the drivers side, popped the hood, and the vet and I huddled there going over the engine.

The rookie looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. He was doing the intimidation factor by the book but here was his partner and one of the criminals chatting like best friends, ignoring him and talking about car engines! I wish I had a camera as he slowly changed from hard ass to stammering trying to get a grip on the situation.

The vet then said "want to see what we get to drive?". "Sure!" I replied and as we went over to his car he seemed to notice the rookie still standing there with my brother and said "Drop it. They're OK" as we passed.

My brother still got a ticket, though.
(BlahBlahBlah, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 2:11, Reply)