ACAB
= All Coppers Are Bastards.
Not entirely true but this one was as I think you'll agree.
One New Year's Eve a mate of mine had celebrated rather too well into the early hours before crashing out on his mate's floor at a house out in the wilds of East Sussex.
The next morning was lovely, bright and frosty, one of those days when the sky is clear and blue.
It was gone midday when my friend decided to leave and drive home but as he rounded a bend he hit a patch of black ice. His car skidded off the road and ended up in a ditch. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt at all and as he was surveying the damage, a car pulled up and stopped.
Its driver was helpful and sympathetic, and as my friend had AA recovery insurance, he offered him a lift to his house to call them.
My friend accepted and after arriving at his benefactor's abode called the AA and waited for them to arrive. His wife made him a cup of tea and chatted to her whilst his new best buddy went out for a while.
About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the front door.
Was it the AA?
Was it fuck!
'Twas the Old Bill - or rather the so-called Good Samaritan's colleagues.
They promptly breathalised my mate who got a 2 year ban as he was still just over the limit and still pays through the nose for his car insurance. Calm down, dear, my arse.
The moral - Never accept lifts from strangers.
(Doctor Evil, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 11:49, Reply)