Ha ha
I recently took an international flight with a carry-on suitcase containing a teddy bear (I'm middle aged), a pair of child's pants (with Star Wars on), 10 Ladybird books on various subjects from cookery to pottery, a homevideo marked 'Sue in the bath', 3 pairs of stockings and a bright pink dress (I'm male). I was praying that I wouldn't get searched. There was a perfectly rational explanation for each item (and no, it wasn't that I'm a cross-dressing infantilist), but I'm sure it wouldn't have come across that way to the security guards.
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 10 May 2011, 12:26, 1 reply)

Appearances can be deceptive
I once bought a packet of condoms and a box of earplugs. It wasn't until later that I realised how that must have looked...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 10 May 2011, 16:18, closed)

add a nose clip & you're set up
for the chestnut ending, "... 'The 2 things i hate most are screaming women & burning rubber'". Can I borrow the badum tish from earlier?
(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Tue 10 May 2011, 18:20, closed)