Not gay enough
My best mate (I'll call him Harry)is gay, but often provokes the reaction "well, if you hadn't said anything I would never have known", basically cos he doesn't mince about, likes 'proper' music, and is into battleships and war.

Anyway, a mate of his (let's say his name's Brian) who is a camp as Christmas, was very excited cos Kylie was playing G.A.Y, but they were limiting it to two tickets per person, and he needed four. Knowing that Harry wasn't in the least bit interested he asked him to go with him to the Astoria to pick up the required number of tickets (two each).

They queue for two hours, Brian picks up his tickets no problem, then harry steps up.

"Sorry mate. This is a gay club"
"yeah, I know. I come here a lot."
"No. No tickets for you. NEXT!"
"hang on a minute..."
"You're not gay. No tickets. NEXT!"

Now, Harry was slightly put out by this. Admittedly, he doesn't dress or act like a stereotypical queen, but he can suck a cock with the best of them (so he says), so what exactly was he suppossed to do to persuade the ticket manhe was gay?

After much pleading from himself and Brian, and the threat of a huge bouncer throweing him into the gutter, they conceded defeat, and Brian had to make other arrangements for his other tickets.

Harry ranted about it for hours, mainly to the tune of "fucking mincing queens get on my fucking tits".
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 26 Nov 2007, 14:37, 3 replies)

Imagine the reverse situation
where a mincing gayer tries to get into a predominantly heterosexual venue, like the Top Gear studio (or something...)

That's bang out of order. G-A-Y can kiss my A-S-S.

Actually, that's exactly what they'd want to do. No ass kissing for you, G-A-Y! That'll teach you.

EDIT: Come to think of it, Clarkson would probably see to it that no gays are allowed onto the Top Gear set, so my argument collapses.
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 26 Nov 2007, 15:12, closed)

I'm sorry, but I totally get this, 'cos I get this, not so much now, but earlier in my life when folks were more 'political' about it, constantly
and I totally sympathise with your friend 'Harry'.

As a man who has, shall we say, a rather casual attitude to sexualities and relationship rules of all kinds at the best of times, I'm no stranger to cock or gay clubs, but aren't in the least bit 'gay' in my dress or mannerisms nor do I see why I should be just 'cos I'm not scared of male to male physical affection, so sometimes I have to deal with bouncers or barstaff's 'binary sexuality' attitudes to such things and their insistence that everyone must take a side and never the twain.

I'm sure there must be some term or word for this 'More minority than you are' attitude, I know it exists in other situations such as being black (how very dare you go to uni and get a job in a bank, you should be black and proud of pimping your hoes and shooting a cap in whiteys ass like we are! Living in Harrogate!') and it really does need some kind of highlighting for just how bloody stupid it is at times.

I do understand the knee-jerk reaction to 'return the compliment' for anyone who ever found themselves being on the receiving end of discrimination, but surely ultimately the whole point for any oppressed minority should be striving for true equality and integration into their immediate surroundings and living a 'normal' life, not self inflicted apartheid out of some kind of sense of twisted 'pride' expressed as banding together dressed and behaving as your own worst stereotypes!? And ultimately WTF does what you do in bed have to do with anything outside of it anyway, like your choice in music and cycle shorts!? You're just perpetuating your own discrimination by buying into it, surely!?

So that's just how I think and most folks just don't 'get it', and this leads onto some awkward situations like sometimes some slightly misguided mate introduces me as, 'And this is our gay friend WiL' (which always makes me think 'WTF!? Does he need to be 'warned'!?), and then this new bloke spends the entire night awkwardly trying to think of 'gay' stuff to talk about to me, like 'Hey, I see The Spice Girls are getting back together, bet you're excited, eh?'

Thinks: *No, actually, I couldn't give a flying fuck about the fecking Spice Girls, any more than Winston over there will sell you any fecking crack!* but must breath and smile and gently correct him.

Damn Hets, they're all the fecking same you know....
( ..wil, Mon 26 Nov 2007, 16:50, closed)

haha!
harry isn't alone - i get that reaction now and again. when same-sex marriages were first legalised here, a couple i know from south of the border flew up to get their rings on. other local friends threw a bash for them, and it coincided with a meetup with some straight guys who were in town, so they got invited to the party.

one of the hosts was feeling prankish so he told the gaymos that there were straight guys gathered in the parlour and one of them was a bit of a homophobe. cue the silly queens wandering in to look at the 'virgin' flesh and ask who the homophobe was. i, of course, piped up that it was me and got to put up with some silly fruit in a pirate shirt (!) trying to creep me out by sitting near me.

i think the hosts eventually told everyone i was queer.
( postbear has metal knees, Tue 27 Nov 2007, 7:05, closed)