One to finish off with
People who start sentences with any of the following phrases:

"I'm not being funny but..."
"Not being rude, but..."
"No offence meant, but..."
"I'm not racist, but..."

Any of the above phrases means that you immediately prejudice yourself against me as being a mouth-breathing moron, and I will immediately start hunting for a shitty stick to assault you with.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:28, 12 replies)

I Tend To Use

"With the greatest respect....." before ripping someone a new arsehole or:

"I see where you're coming from but......"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:48, closed)

Or
"I completely take on board your point but..."

or

"Having said all of that though..."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:22, closed)

I tend to be more direct
"Nah, you're talking shite..."
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 12:15, closed)

As someone once said to me, "Anything before 'but' is bullshit".
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:53, closed)

What about..
..."At the end of the day, right"
(syz, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:58, closed)

I know - it speaks of poor personal scheduling:
'At the end of the day, I have breakfast.' Oh Really?
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:28, closed)

I prefer
"Now listen here, Johnny ... "
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:04, closed)

I'm not being racist, but I quite like Coke.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrgygfwnCJ0
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:34, closed)

Well
One thing I can say is, that whenever anyone has said to me 'I'm not being funny but...' they have, as they described, not been funny. Usually pretty stupid, but not funny.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 12:25, closed)

"To be honest..."
I hate that too.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 12:26, closed)

Yup
it implies that you are making a special case of being honest and most of the time you are dishonest..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 12:47, closed)

"To tell you the truth ... "
So, er ... what were you telling me previously?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 13:09, closed)