Every sodding year I have the same telephone conversation with my mother:-
Mum: Auntie Joan has asked me what you want for Christmas…
Me: I don’t want anything.
Mum: I have to tell her something.
Me: I’m a grown man; she doesn’t have to buy me anything anymore.
Mum: Yes I know, but she’s very fond of you…
Me: I’m an accountant mother; nobody is very fond of me.

And it goes on like that, I explain that a book would be the perfect gift as I love reading and mum explains that my auntie wouldn’t know which book to choose for me. I explain that I will read anything and she reminds me of the time 15 years ago that she bought me a book that I had already read. I suggest that I could buy the book, give it to her to pass on to my auntie who could wrap it up and give it back to me as a present. Mum says that it wouldn’t be a surprise and I explain that it’s not a problem as “I‘m not a fucking child anymore”. My mother then tells me off for swearing.

Shall I answer the actual QOTW? I have a gentleman’s agreement with my brother and every male on the planet not to swap cards or presents. This works remarkably well and I suggest to every male B3tard reading this to give it a go. You are already in this agreement with myself and you have to admit that it’s worked well so far.

I will buy my mother a good book and a bottle of Champagne, my father will receive an excellent bottle of whisky. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend so sorry lads, you’re on your own (although I am reliably informed that the ladies can never have “too much” jewellery.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:43, 6 replies)

I get that
every year from my Aunt and Uncle. They always phone my Mum and ask her what they can get for their nieces/nephews and she always tells them not to bother, there's nothing we need and it would be a waste of money. So they e-mail/phone us individually. We tell them the same. We still end up with something none of us wants that we have to pretend to love.

Truthfully, I know they don't have a lot of money and I'd rather they saved it for something THEY need.

*sympathcy click*
(Melody was not PMSing on, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:00, closed)

Exactly!
My auntie is in her 80's and doesn't have a lot of money. Mum still makes me feel like an ungrateful petulant little child when I tell her I dont need or want anything.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:08, closed)

Yes!
My Mum's like that as well. I ALWAYS thank them profusely and tell them that next year, they shouldn't feel like they have to get me anything because I'm too old for Christmas now.

When they leave I get; "Did you have to be SO UNGRATEFUL AND SHOW ME UP???"
(Melody was not PMSing on, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:11, closed)

mothers
travel agents for guilt trips
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:15, closed)

Is your dad not male?
Or not on this planet?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 16:15, closed)

He's the exception that proves the rule (I love that saying, it makes no sense).
My dad wouldnt care if I didnt buy him a present, but mum would get funny about it. And buy "funny" I mean "upset" and/or "naggy".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:24, closed)