Dicing for presents
This year, like the past 4-5 years, we will be dicing for presents. Everyone brings along 3 presents. 2 should be obvious crap, old stuff found in the basement etc. The third present should be something good, but shouldn't cost more than a few quid. All are wrapped in old newspaper rather than expensive gift wrapping, in order to make sure that noone can tell who brought the presents or whether it is a good one, or a crappy one.

We then pile up all presents on the table, and start dicing for the presents (2 persons each round, the one with the higher number can select any present from the pile). After the pile is gone, 2-3 rounds of more dicing, where the winner can pick any present from anyone, or tell anyone to give a specific present to an other person. This works best with at least 6-7 people.
Afterwards, presents are unwrapped one after another in order to give everyone a chance feel stupid enough for choosing what presents they got.

Greatest presents so far (it is the crappy ones that you actually tend to like most):
- an "ancient" Egyptian table lamp (fuck ugly, made a return next christmas to be won by the original owner)
- 3 porcellain garden dwarfs (again, fuck ugly, didn't survive the dwarf tossing contest later in the evening)
- a used toaster (15 years old, completely caked in burned bread crumbs)
- condoms (the look of disbelief on grandmom's face will live in our memory forever)
( RedWine President of the S.C.U.M., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 17:30, 5 replies)

this is a fabulous idea
i'd try it with my family, if they weren't a pack of miserable cunts.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 19:04, closed)

wonderful
We do this every year, and it is best if there are at least 6 or 7 just to improve the randomness. A wrapped carrot can look like something else indeed. My favourites are always the vegetables. I like the additional rule that you can order redistribution of presents as well as claiming them - the more randomness the better!
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 20:51, closed)

Have you ever read text on your screen really quickly, and misread something as a result?
I just got:

'a used condoms (15 years old, completely caked in burned bread crumbs)
- the look of disbelief on grandmom's face will live in our memory forever)'

*chuckles*

Great idea though (the presents bit, not the condoms..)
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 9:26, closed)

CHRIST!
thats the funniest thing I've read today
(The Ear-Trumpet Addicting is NOT a word., Mon 30 Nov 2009, 23:01, closed)

Oo, this sounds like a fun idea.
Makes me wish I had a bigger family so we could do this properly (there's only four of us, and one of my brothers is a Downy so he wouldn't understand the concept).
( Bob Todd whee, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 16:20, closed)