my sister
one year, we had a very bad christmas.
it was the day of the school play, december 13th 1985 and i was ten years old. for the third year running, i had been chosen as the play's narrator, a role that always got me laughed at by the parents.
as i stood on the stage, i scanned the audience for my mum, who had promised to come, but she wasn't there. i spotted my uncle, though, so when the play was over, i went to talk to him.
"don't walk home," he said, "i'll give you a lift. i've got a surprise for you." intrigued, i hurried off to fetch my little sister and my 2 cousins. as we walked to the car, my sister asked "is it a good surprise?" "not really," my uncle replied. "your grandad's dead." for someone who had been a nurse for over 20 years, he was shit at giving bad news.
upon arriving home, we were met by a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, as is only to be expected in such a terrible situation. it seems grandad had suffered a fatal heart attack just after breakfast, about an hour after we'd left for school. fortunately, he'd died quickly and not suffered much. the whole family was distraught.

the more impatient of you may well be asking "smash, where is this leading?" well, i'll tell you.
christmas morning, we were unwrapping our gifts next to the tree, when my mother hands my elder sister an oddly-shaped package. tearing the paper off, my sister revealed a pair of headphones, exactly the ones she'd wanted. "thanks, mum!" she cried. "they're not off me and your dad," answered mum. "they're from your grandad. that's the only present he'd managed to buy before he died."
i'd love to say that those headphones were treasured by my sister, but she'd managed to ruin them within about 3 months.
sorry for lack of funny, but it still pisses me off that she didn't treat them better.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 18:45, 6 replies)

I'm sure he wanted her to use them.
I know exactly what you mean (as a child I broke some family possesions and still feel bad) -- but at least she got some use and fun out of them. I'll never forget how fun loving and carefree my grandad was on his deathbed.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:07, closed)

you're probably right
my problem is i'm a hoarder, i never throw anything away!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:23, closed)

Me neither.
And I have boxes full of broken stuff which I can't bear to throw out because the people who bought me them since died. I try, but I just can't do it.
( wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 0:03, closed)

my mate's nan died recently
she left him a load of wool, which he had no use for, so he gave it to me. i've made scarves, shawls and blankets out of it. i gave him a blanket, so that he'd have something to remember her by.
i've just finished a huge blanket, which is now helping to keep my double bed toasty warm :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 1:20, closed)

I thought your storsy said
'I was ten years old for the third year running'

I thought that was quite impressive, maybe you were a leapyear baby?!
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:00, closed)

not quite
but i've been 21 for 14 years ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:35, closed)