My life as a terminal procrastinator...
1) I'm sat here typing this, when I should be re-writing the copy for a global product website. Bugger it, I'll do it on the train instead of Sudoku.

2) Through cunning use of email, voicemail and directing work to colleagues who are in different countries, I once spent a week at home watching Diagnosis Murder and still saw projects going out on time. I was praised for getting things done - I should feel guitly, but I view it delegation as part of my management skill-set....

3) My wife is pregnant - the baby is due in April/May. She wants to decorate the nursery this weekend, but between you and me, it'll end up being done sometime in March, maybe even early April - the excuse I give myself is that if I do it now, the place will probably need a freshen-up by then, so why do a job twice?

4) There's a fault on the dash of the new car. It's a dealer issue and they are willing to fix it. I've yet to arrange getting the car in to the garage, as it would mean I have to also argue for a courtesy car or my wife has to take time off of work, losing time she wanted to book off before the baby arrives so we can decorate. If I end up having to pay for the repair, it'll cost me £1000 or so, but that hasn't spurred me into action yet.

4) I gave up smoking - not through any great effort or going to meetings, etc, but simply by not being arsed with the faffing of making sure I had tobacco, papers *and* a lighter.

5) The coffee machine at work packed up. The canteen is 11 floors down. I nearly died of dehydration that week.

6) I took a week to reply to a message which would have taken me five minutes to do.

I have a theory, though, that it's not exactly laziness - I work hard and get a lot done - I think it's exhaustion. I have a two-hour commute each way, I rarely get to bed before midnight and I've been working on four or five hours sleep a night for two years now. Since my wife has been pregnant she's been in a lot of pain and has kept me awake with constant trips to the loo, to the kitchen for water, paracetamol, etc, as well as then tossing and turning as she tries to get comfortable. Consequently, I have undergone the kind of sleep depravation that is usually practiced at Guantanamo...
(Chad, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 13:35, 7 replies)

on (3)
do it now: paint fumes.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 14:47, closed)

seconded
Also valid if you're having new carpet. For the health of your kid, you should get that done immediately, to let the residual volatiles evaporate.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 19:57, closed)

Do it, do it, do it!
Seriously, otherwise your wife will hold it against you for the length of your marriage. Which may not be very long unless you finish the fecking nursery! *voodoo has issues*

You will not have the time once the baby arrives to do anything. If you find yourself with time to play FIFA, etc, then you're not doing enough and your wife is suffering.
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 20:28, closed)

play FIFA?
you must be joking - I get up at 5:30am, go to work, get back at 7:30pm, help make dinner, tidy up, make lunch for the next day, do my own ironing and laundry for the next day and then get to sleep about 1am.

I'll sort the nursery out when I can, but my wife wants it done *now*, when the baby is not due for another five months.
(Chad, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:34, closed)

Why don't you
make the missus sleep on the sofa?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 15:39, closed)

Good training
Come April/May you will probably be grateful that your body has become somewhat accustomed to less sleep. Though there is a chance that any extra baby-induced sleeplessness might push you over the edge ...
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 15:39, closed)

Yes...
I do think that when people say "ooh, you'll not get a good night's sleep when the baby comes", that I can't actually get a worse night - well, short of never sleeping again.

As for the painting, I'll probably get it done over Christmas, I was hoping to wait until my bonus gets paid, but the company has changed them from December to April (to coincide with the tax year). Bugger.
(Chad, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 16:44, closed)