Tele-sales people on 100% commission
Oh how I fucking hate tele-sales people on 100% commission. If it's just a sales shill for some company I don't give a shit about, it's "no thank you, have a nice day, buh-bye now". When it's a charity calling, I let them do their bit and if I like the charity I often give something, because I'm nice like that.

I had one recently, range me up in the middle of a wank my tea, calling on behalf of Guide Dogs for the Blind. Fair enough, a nice cause. He starts into his spiel, and I stop him and say:
"Sorry mate, I like your cause an' all, but I am completely skint right now".
"That's okay", he says, "could I tell you about Guide Dogs for the Blind anyway?"
Fair enough, I'll be nice. He probably has his boss over his shoulder or something. I'll let him do his spiel.
So he goes on about GDfB for a good 5 minutes, then asks "so if you could just give us £10 a month to help train these dogs."
"Sorry mate, like I said, completely skint right now, I just can't afford it"
"Ok, I understand. But it really is a great charity..." and he goes on for a another few minutes, stating the bleeding obvious about GDfB. He then wraps up with "I understand money's tight right now for everyone, so what about £5 a month?"
"Really, I am skint. I lost my job recently, am unemployed, and have more going out than I have coming in, I just can't afford it"
"Sorry to hear that, what about £3 a month?"
"Seriously, I'm poor. I'll need a charity soon! I cannot afford anything"
"£2 a month then? Anything you could give would be a real help"
"What don't you understand? I'm skint! Kaput! The coffers are empty!"
"Okay sir, I understand. Perhaps you would like to give in 6 months time when you are in a better position"
"Ok, sure, give me a call back in 6 months" (I really do like the charity and would give to them if I had the money)
"Oh no, we can't do that, you have to give something now. How about just £5 a month"
"Goodbye"
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:03, 10 replies)

Tsk
Go to www.tpsonline.org.uk right now and enter your phone number. Right this very moment. And all your problems will go away.
(chutneyweasel, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:17, closed)

It doesn't stop the cold calls from bongo-bongo land

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:19, closed)

For this I use a phrase my dad taught me.
Tabacaria menzala de la gusto de Brazilia

I think it means tobacco grown in Brazil.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:22, closed)

Thanks,
I just did.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:21, closed)

sadly charities are immune,
as are companies that bought your number in good faith from some other company. I've been on the TPS for years. It does drastically reduce the number of cold calls, but last year, a cunt-monkey company called PremierMan Clothing decided to sell my details, and now I get calls from arseholes trying to sell me on credit cards, market researchers, and a large number of indians that are probably trying to sell me something, but I can't understand a word they say. And none of them are in breach of the TPS.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:30, closed)

In which case I will have no problem
telling them to fuck right off.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:34, closed)

An asian lady phoned me the other day and said in very VERY bad engrish
"my na-me eees RacH-el Waaalker"

I laughed
She laughed
We both laughed

You gotta laugh really.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:44, closed)

I love that
A massively - almost comically - Indian accent saying "Yes, hello, my name is [rustle, rustle] Dave"
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:27, closed)

Companies conducting surveys
are also immune. And damn annoying.

In general, however, TPS does cut down cold calls massively.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:26, closed)

Charities are not immune
However Market research, (Mori and the like) CAN call you, as can any company that you "have an ongoing relationship with" (Like your bank). This doesn't (Shouldn't) include buying and selling lists

To quote from TPS:
"It is a legal requirement that all organisations (including charities, voluntary organisations and political parties) do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS unless they have your consent to do so."

TPS is a good move, but as above doesn't stop the autodiallers, phonebook shufflers, and furriners.
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Mon 31 May 2010, 1:15, closed)