Telemarketers Beware
I hate telemarketers with a passion, and in our industry we get a lot of calls from outsourced indian companies trying to make meetings, or dodgy aussie companies trying to sell us seminars which lumaries of the business world have remarkably "asked us to attend", and for the low low some of $20,000.

Rather than get upset, there are several strategies that we've used to great effect:

1. How long can we keep you on hold?
This game involves telling the telemarketer they've called at the perfect time to get us to change our contract on the phone system, or whatever it is they're trying to sell. They just need to talk to the guy in accounts. He's very busy. I'm sure he will answer soon. Still there? I'll let him know you're on hold. We are very keen to save thousands. Our phone bill is huge. If you can save us 40% that would be like $50,000 a month for us.

2. The special telemarketer extension
Pick the most horrific song, set it as on hold music for a specific extension. Repeat it forever. I love open source phone systems :)

(1) and (2) have caused us to be the target of real, real rage and we've had people on hold for over an hour.

3. Can we make you swear at someone?
A bit more cunty - but basically this involves passing them off to a different phone number as they called the wrong office.

We then give them the number of a foreign embassy, and the name of "insert very rude phrase in said foreign language" as the contact they need to speak to.

We never had a call back after the last one, unfortunately, I'd love to know how well it goes with an aggressive Indian woman calling the Russian embassy, demanding to speak with "Go f**k yourself"

Hound.
(evil_hound last barked at the moon on, Sun 30 May 2010, 10:44, 5 replies)

I lol'd.
*click*
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 30 May 2010, 15:06, closed)

.
^this
(Home Bargains was last seen wanking like a safari park chimp:, Sun 30 May 2010, 22:40, closed)

Nice
Can I have your number so we can forward the ones we get to you?
(Biff..., Mon 31 May 2010, 11:51, closed)

I might just set up that extension for external use if there's enough demand. Or change the hold music to something thats very, very rude.
(evil_hound last barked at the moon on, Mon 31 May 2010, 13:02, closed)

You should register a premium-rate number...
.. and see how much you can make.

*click*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 15:57, closed)