The Duke
Tenuous sort of semi-pearoast from pubs...

In the third year of Uni, two of my mates got barred from the college bar for being sick on the jukebox, so all my other drinking buddies decided we were going to boycott the bar too until they were allowed back in - I wasn't too fussed myself, it seemed a fair punishment...

Anyway. We had to find a substitute so we decamped to a weird pub that seemed to be left from another era, and now had a car park built around it, leaving it looking like a sort of boozy lighthouse in a sea of concrete. No one ever went there - it just didn't look like a studenty place. Plus, it was a pub in the middle of a car park.

First couple of visits were Sunday football or early afternoon in the week (hey, we were students), and apart from the fact the landlord was the dirtiest man you'd ever seen and kept his dog in the kitchen, it was welcoming and comfy. Then came karaoke night...

I don't want to sounds like a snob, but even for someone with a familiarity and affection for scummy pubs, this was a rough-looking crowd. I think we were the only young blokes in the room without tattoos and shit eyebrow piercings. The old guys mostly had limbs missing (I'm not exaggerating, I counted). The women don't bear thinking about. We found ourselves a table in the corner and settled in. It was actually a brilliant evening. Some terrible singers, some great singers, but a good atmosphere and lots of friendly banter. We relaxed and started clapping the singers and getting a few rounds in.

There was another table next to ours who also didn't quite fit in. A couple. We have since christened the guy Pissed Ian, because he was pissed and we heard his girlfriend call him Ian. 

From their demeanour we reckoned they hadn't been together too long and this was an early venture out. They weren't a natural couple - he dressed like a teacher, she was a bit Goth. He was a small man, and weighed about half as much as her and clearly couldn't keep pace. She was jolly, but he was legless. As the drinks kept coming, he developed a demonic gleam in his eye, and we could hear the tone of conversation change from relaxed chat to her desperate pleading.

Looking as determined as only the terribly drunk can, Ian pulls himself to his feet and makes his way to the karaoke set-up. He has words with the operator, who looks like he's not sure whether to laugh or worry, and takes the mic.

Prince: 'When Doves Cry'

It was the most rapt audience I've ever seen. Some people were puzzled. Many were just looking around to see how others reacted. After a few moments, everyone just sat there and listened. He was great. Absolutely fantastic. Could barely stand but he belted it out like a true showman. When he finished, there was a standing ovation.

Ian lopes back across the room to his girl, with a look on his face that says ‘Oh yeah – I told you I was a performer’. At which point she rises from her chair and punches him so hard he goes down like a sack of shit, and has to be woken by the landlord with the water from the ice-bucket.

This got a bigger standing ovation than the karaoke.

Anyway, soon afterwards, I was the one who volunteered to go back to the college bar and basically beg them to let my friends back in so we could stop hanging out in the Duke. Thankfully, it was arranged, and our boycott was lifted. I never went to the Duke again, but the fond memories of our protest will live on forever.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 13:41, 3 replies)

Actually
it sounds like the sort of pub I'd rather go to than a college bar any day of the week.
Diff'rent strokes an' all that. Liked the story. Have a click.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 14:44, closed)

Thanks
I did miss it when we stopped going.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 14:46, closed)

For real
That is my kind of place for sure.

A bar isn't a bar unless you can go in at 9am and not be the only person in there.
(raulduke, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 16:26, closed)