The worst i've seen to date...
For a man of not particularly advanced years I’ve seen more than my fair share of conflict, especially during the last decade or so. When you have attended as many as I, eventually you realise a pattern tends to emerge with struggles of this kind; it will start off with the best of intentions and be fairly well behaved, but tension will build the longer it goes on without a definitive result one way or the other. More often than not all it takes is an act of selfishness and stupidity from one trouble-making individual to throw the whole affair into chaos, and the higher the stakes, the more vigorous the reaction.

One particular occasion stands out, however. I had been invited by a friend to attend what was being advertised as an ‘event’ (though we all knew what it really was and understood that this wording had been employed to put police off the scent). The area was fairly rural, and the venue chosen for this most potentially violent of gatherings was outside an old castle that had now been converted to a house for some self aggrandising ponse, but still appeared regal enough to act as a landmark that could be seen from afar, and thus was more than suitable to attract the attention we were after.

Surprisingly few had actually turned up meaning that I had been able to position myself quite near the front – which was all very well and good until the Neanderthals toward the back started to throw things, at which point (despite the relatively small number) it turned into a frenzy. I personally had done nothing to antagonise these morons yet they still hurled anything and everything they could find at whoever was in proximity – inevitably I was hit by something from behind. It felt like Hulk Hogan had sledgehammered the back of my head and my surroundings started to spin as I went into a sort of daze, unable to move for what seemed like an eternity. No sooner had I pulled myself together and tried to move away than I was hit again from behind by some un-evolved ape. It was at this point that Toad and DK came speeding past me... so I switched the fucking thing off and stormed out of the room.
(2_Killer_Mockingbirds Listened to all the same songs on, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 18:25, 6 replies)

i was actually expecting a frankenstein gag there
and then you pulled mariokart out of the bag!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 21:04, closed)

If in doubt
Go the way of the plumber in the red hat!
(2_Killer_Mockingbirds Listened to all the same songs on, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 22:28, closed)

indeed

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Nov 2010, 20:24, closed)

Hoho
Very good.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 21:06, closed)

Temporarily mystified

I sooo didn't get this, until the replies!

I'm either dim, or not a gaming geek...
(TheFlyingOnion. looking forward to, Sun 14 Nov 2010, 9:21, closed)

DAMN YOU BLUE SHELL!
Damn you to hell!

(Totally had me until the last line there, you sneaky bastard!)
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sun 14 Nov 2010, 10:15, closed)