Rules for the 192 Manchester Piccadilly to Hazel Grove...
...AKA 'The Midnight Express'.

I had to catch this bus on a regular basis during my time in England's true second city... Like a lot of things, it takes planning, timing and effort, but it's ultimately rewarding (i.e. you get to your destination with the right number of limbs, the same frame of mind you had getting on and without losing any of your belonging)...

1. Queues? What's a queue? Get on when it is SAFE to get on - i.e. don't moan when the Eastern European looking fella, or the Somali with the industrial-size box of washing powder, or anyone else looking suspicious (tramps, people with shaved heads, etc) steps in front of you.

2. When it is your turn, ensure the transaction with the bus driver is quick and simple. You are expected to know the right fare and where to stop yourself, this isn't a public information service. Don't try being chatty with the driver either - he isn't your friend, he's just the guy getting livestock from A to B. So shut it.

3. Getting a seat. SIT AT THE FRONT OF THE BOTTOM DECK. Nowhere else. This limits the chance of interaction with nutters, violent people or thieves. If you're with a friend, you can risk other areas but don't say you haven't been warned. Plus if you do get collared, it'll be on the bus' CCTV. If it's working.

4. During the journey, only talk or look at people you know. Otherwise this could be taken as incitement to violence, a silent offer of a fag or other unmentionable business. If you're from the south or look like a student, don't talk at all.

5. Showing any kind of gadget or expensive item is a no-no. Many will want to 'look at' your possession, and it'll never be seen again.

6. If it kicks off - you didn't see anything, OK?

7. If you're standing up, don't keep touching or looking at your pocket as if to say 'please don't nick my wallet' - this again is a silent invite for others to proceed with the action.

8. Getting off - get up early, giving yourself plenty of time to actually leave the bus. The driver has a set alighting time of ooh, 3 seconds, in case of gunfire.

9. Repeat journeys do not mean you'll become familiar to anyone. This is not a social club, it's a bus journey.

10. If at any point in your journey you're hungry - wait until you get home. The takeaways in Longsight or Levenshulme might look nice, but when you're stood at the bus stop trying to stomach a kebab that could only be composed of cat and various other animals whilst avoiding the gaze of the local chav army don't say you weren't warned.

11. Finally - Relax. At least it's not Compton, Kandahar or Brixton, eh?

I remember detailing the delights of the 192 to an ex I was taking back to mine for a bit of action. She refused to see what the fuss was about until a big drunken rasta sat behind her proceeded to vomit into the hood of her lovely new coat...
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 29 May 2008, 17:38, 6 replies)

Ah! the 192
I have taken that bus regularly - see my post re: bus seat set on fire.


I don't know what all the fuss is about.
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 May 2008, 18:09, closed)

hehe
I used to get this to Poynton as it went there sometimes. I remember going to a gig at the International 2, Plymouth Grove, missing the bus and walking home. To poynton, at 2am, through levenshulme etc. Lovely.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 29 May 2008, 18:31, closed)

Bah! Its fine for me
I find this bus to be fine, oddly enough, the only time I get it is on a saturday night back from manchester.
My tip is to sit at the back on the bottom deck and look like you are rather pissed off (as a student this is quite easy) and then no one will sit next to you. Huzzah!

Also, never, ever go to the top deck, that means death.

And never get off al Levenshulme, it is not a nice place to be (particuarly if you sport long hair and a t shirt sporting "Cannibal Corpse" on it).
(River of Squid has a variety of lemons in his pocket, Fri 30 May 2008, 0:13, closed)

Actually
Yeah, I never had much trouble on it after all - and I used to get off at Levenshulme all the time. However the stories I used to get were pretty amazing! But the stuff about the drivers is true - even worse if they can't speak English properly, I used to know one driver who had his destinations spelled phonetically for him!
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 30 May 2008, 8:14, closed)

the 192
i was wondering if anyone would post about the 192 - had to get it quite a few times from manchester when my dad was in hospital at stepping hill, it is truly the bus from hell.

you are dead right about sitting downstairs only and avoiding eye contact, some fucking weirdos on there.
(brocky, Fri 30 May 2008, 14:56, closed)

Ah, the 192.
The one single reason I avoid public transport like the fucking plague.
(beemoh, Fri 30 May 2008, 18:10, closed)