I'm afraid I am going to start with a Pearoast, in case anyone missed it first time round.

"I don't really mean to be too harsh on Essex, I'm actually quite protective of it in reality.

But sometimes you just have to shake your head and accept it for what it is, good bad and ugly.

There used to be a 'country club' down at Pipps Hill, on the outskirts of Basildon (it's been built over now with a leisure park, nick named, I kid you now, Bas-Vegas).

And next to the club there was a pub called 'The Golfers Arms'.

I worked there for a bit between leaving uni and getting a 'proper' job.

There are no two ways about it, the pub was a dive of the highest order. We'd get all of societies flotsam & jetsam parading through.

But, taking the biscuit for the most common act I ever saw anyone perform was the denim miniskirted stilletoed peroxide blond mutton dressed as lamb who flashed her gash at all and sundry while playing pool one Sunday afternoon.

I stood and watched in horror as her and her knuckle dragging boyfriend went out the back door in the dark by the lake and came back 10 minutes later looking extremely flustered.

Now, in all honesty, I can understand that some people get turned on by exhibitionism, I can understand that some people get turned on by outdoor sex, and I can understand that some people get horny and want sex right there, right then, wherever there and then may be.

But what I can't understand, what I refuse to think about in any degree of depth.

Is why the hell they had to take the pool cue with them."
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:24, 4 replies)

That is bizarre...
...yet made for strangely entertaining reading.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 10:37, closed)

Maybe...
...they liked to sink the pink and pot the brown at the same time.

(OK, I realise this analogy doesn't work with pool balls.)
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 12:20, closed)

Being an Essex lad myself
I can't actually recall ANY nice pubs in Basildump. Certainly not in the 80's.
On my (fortunately) infrequent visits there I can't say that they look like they've improved much.
It's a shame that so many places in this area are going downhill so fast. I grew up in Wickford, which was rather posh (mostly) in the 70's. Now even that's getting rather pikey. :-(
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:24, closed)

cue
In case they needed to take a break?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 16:35, closed)