A Big Bendy Educational Thing....

I was saving up to buy a house and get married, so as a niave, innocent 18 year old Sparklet I took a second job in a city centre bar. I should have know there was something amiss, when a glass broke during my first shift and the manageress shoved me smartly under the counter, ordering me to "Stay here and wait for the Cheering!" I worked there for three months, and in that time..

1) The landlord, a man named Tracy only ever retaliated violently to a customer once. At a fancy dress night. When he was dressed as Andy Pandy. He punched the bloke's lights out. Five feet nothing of angry Brummie in an Andy Pandy outfit..

2) Worked with the first gay man I'd every (Knowingly) met, a lovely big brick-outhouse constructed bloke, with a penchant for dressing as a serving wench, and referring to himself as Camp David...

3) Have been offered (All from one bloke's pockets, and a small bag) Half a sheep, a calculator, oral sex, a quarter of resin, amyl nitrate and a small dog. In one evening.

4) Been waylaid early doors by Connie, the local black-belt mentalista, with her countless bags of teddies, big smiley face and appalling smell, she tried to get me to buy some condoms from her..

5) Was shocked and concerned that the two new barmaids had been in the gents for quite some time, it turned out that they were "on the Game" and using the boozer as a warm indoor venue for their trade.

6) Went out after work to a club the manageress knew, and got covered in some blokes blood, all over my pale yellow skirt. It would have ended better if the Ladies loo door locked, and I could manage to wash it out in cold water without sundry blokes coming in to powder their noses, and offering to help me dry it.


Funny thing is, this was a smart wine bar, we did cocktails, and food...


You never know, do you?

*Edit.. the Title was rubbish so i changed it, and jiggled it about a bit..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)