Last week at The Packhorse pub on the Otley Road in Leeds.
As per usual of a Wednesday night the Leeds Uni Mountaineering Club are upstairs sharing banter when our mate Steve bursts into the room.

"There's people!" He pants, out of breath for some reason.
"There's people having SEX outside!"

Instantly twenty odd climbers scramble out of their seats and press their grubby faces against the even grubbier window and peer into the beer garden.

It's a bitterly cold night but this hasn't stopped two participants of The Otley Run from fulfilling their carnal urges. On one of the picnic benches a pink clad chav-a-like is sat with her legs high in the air and as far apart as they could go while some cocksure dandy penetrated her cavernous rift with all his might.

We gawped in awe at this spectacle as did the old man who had stepped out for a smoke, a bemused but amused look spread across his features, wrinkly as the chavette's minge-slit. Almost as soon as we started watching the bebonered lad was spent and on his likely virulent vinegars. He withdrew and shook his winky before sheathing it back in his trousers.

We could not believe what we had just seen and in fact my friend, a few pints later in The Drydock bar, began poking the girl with my crutch (broken femur, different story) whispering "Sex girl, sex girl"

Thank you Sex Girl (and Sex Boy), you have brightened our lives.
(vibrating tuna, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 22:32, Reply)