Apologise for the terrible accent
I was back home in Northumberland, drinking with my dad in his local on a weeknight. Into the quiet, dark country boozer comes Jackie, an ancient awld gadgee shepherd who everyone knows, he sits quietly with his bottle of stout in a corner and rarely says more than occasional "ye knaa" and "aye man" at the conversations in the pub. It's the sort of place where all the conversations are shared, being small and quiet. Anyway, someone was talking about a pub further away, called the Dyke Neuk Inn, when wor Jackie pipes up in his broad northumbrian:
"Aye - the Dyke Neuk - Ah used te drink theor, man ye knaa" Everyone falls silent.
"Did you now Jackie?" someone says, to encourage him to talk a bit more.
"Aye - Ah used te gan in at 6 every neet like, ye kna. Aye right. Ah used te knaa al the lassies behind thu bar, aye. Aye. Ennyweey, Yin neet ah gans in at 7, acause Ah'd bin oot wid the yows, ye knaa. An de ye knaa what the wifey says to is?"
The pub lies silent waiting for Jackie's words of wisdom, the man having never said more than three words at one in 25 years.
"She gans, "Eee Jack! Yer late!""

pffft.
(sarahahaha, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 13:37, 1 reply)

you see QOTW
THIS is epic story-telling. You don't need to make up outrageous lies to get a click.

I really really liked this.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 13:48, closed)