I like my local except for one guy.
The stereotypical 'bullshitting old alcoholic'. Except that this one doesn't claim that he used to be in the SAS. He doesn't even claim that he used to be a roadie for the Rolling Stones. No, he claims that he's a famous singer right now.

A running joke in the pub is to say something like 'oh my God! You're the guy from N'Sync aren't you? I thought I recognised you' - he gets very belligerent and starts going on about how he's a real musician, none of this pop crap!

Obviously people sometimes ask him to 'give us a song then', and naturally it sounds like a rasping alcoholic.

Sometimes people ask him whether he knows anyone famous. He reckons he did, but the people he mentions are all dead or foreign - which I guess is why we never see them drinking with their old pal. He claims to have worked with Joe Strummer. He looks a bit like a really old ex-rocker, so I'd guess he was probably a fan of the Clash back in the day. Oh, and he recorded a song with Nick Cave as well.

He also claims to have a hot wife, of course. Which explains why he's never seen with any of the many groupies that follow his imaginary career.

Actually having typed all this I'm not so sure it's a funny story so much as a sad one. His real story's probably a lot more interesting than the fantasy one, but I don't suppose I'll ever hear it. Anyway I salute you, you star of alcoholic bullshitting, Shane MacGowan.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 2:19, 3 replies)

Excellent work as always.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 2:29, closed)

Thanks!
:)
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 3:10, closed)

You
Total bastard. You got me there *click*
(McChinaman banned, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:48, closed)