2 goths walk into a bar....
ok, so it was one goth and one very dear old lady. (me beloved grandmother)
so, we walk into this bar already both rather inhebriated, as we did this every monday and had done for 6 months. only this particular monday, we had met one of my grandmothers friends. we had, as a group, chosen to venture to a pub we did not usually frequent.
we walked through the doors and entered the main lounge where mainly elderly men sat, you know the types, with that stench of ale and park drive cigarettes. we approach the bar, as is customary in pubs.
its my round so i delve into my pocket, produce some money and say "half a larger, half of mild and half of bitter please" to the barkeeper, who clearly has some kind of condition. his arm fell limply by his side and he was only about 4foot tall. he looked like he had just walked off the set to Night Of The Living Dead. his eyes buldging behind is massive glasses.
to which the barkeep replies "we dont serve your type in here"
bemused, gob smacked i look at my grandmother. i stand there weighing in at 8 stone nothing, with my backcombed purple and green death hawk of hair, in my all black etire, aged only 18.

To this my grandmother replies "a half of larger a half of mild and a half of bitter"
and again, service was declined.
at which point, its fair to say my grandmother flipped, i had never seen the woman who used to feed me on a diet of cake and ribina milkshake (yes YUK) act in such a way.
She started by swearing, ALOT. this was followed by comments like "I dont know how a man who cant move his head from a fecking 30degree angle can refuse survice to anybody. You look like a zombie" and with this she sauntered from the pub. while shouting "maybe you have epilepsy, if i turn the light on and off enough, maybe will you show us how to jitterbug?!" i left trotting closely behind her. *sighs*
i know, i know, you all want to know more about the ribina milkshake... but eh. Go try it for yourselves. WARNING dont give it to kids, its vomit inducing.

ok, i have been informed i must say more, about the ribina.. now you use sterilized milk... AND its a taste you will never forget. though you will want to... ^__^ enjoy
(samurai_beth, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 11:10, 3 replies)

not a reply to your story
but holy shit, you've had an account for a long time.

and this was your first post?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 11:21, closed)

If I could offer people only one tip for the future...
"Don't mess with Grannys" would be it.

The long term benefits of not messing with grannies have been proved by scientists; whereas the rest of my posts have no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 11:40, closed)

"Enjoy the beauty and power of your youth
Or, if you can't do that, take your grandkids out to the pub."?

"Wear [grand]Son-Scream"?

Ach, screw this "punnage" thing...
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 12:12, closed)