Browser reminds me…

A year or two ago, a mate (who happens to be a hard-core Manchester United fan) informed me that he had a spare ticket to see his beloved team at Old Trafford, and would I like to pop along to see them for free.

WelI, the price was right, so I thought: ‘What the hell’.

The trip up the M6 was no bother, but on arrival we had to partake in his ‘Man U ritual’ which consisted of:

1. Eating a bag of chips down some street that was covered in chip shops bearing huge badly-drawn pictures of Man Utd players (Is it called ‘Sir Matt Busby Way’?)

2. Going to a pub called ‘The Trafford’ and getting blitheringly rat-arsed around likeminded Man U fans before ambling down to the stadium.

This was all good fun, and the fans of both teams that I met were good natured in their abuse of each other.

(In fact, from my perspective it was a little light relief, because, as a Coventry City supporter, it was nice to be on the side of a team that actually stood a chance of winning for a change, even if I was only pretending. It was an albeit brief glimpse of life on the other side of the fence…supporting a team that were actually quite good, and not arse-chewingly shite. *sigh*)

Anyhoo, we went up to the bar in The Trafford, and were greeted by a friendly, but Burly barman “What are you havin’ like, lads?” He asked.

“Pint o’f Boddies* our kid!”, says my mate, strangely and suddenly adopting a Manc accent (despite the fact he was born and bred in Nuneaton).

The barman then rolls his eyes, grabs a pre-poured pint from the hundreds underneath the bar then looks at me: “Ow’s about you then, pal?” He asks.

“Ah, good sir, I’d like some cider please”.

The place falls silent…

Eventually, the barman speaks: “Ay, yer big poooofter, you want that in a laydeeees glass, like?” he japes, as the onlookers return to their EEC Boddingtons mountain, with supporters of both sides briefly united in their mutual heckling of the ‘Cider drinking southern pansie’

Later on we got to the match and at half time we were queuing at one of the bars at the stadium.

It was like a production line.

Customer 1: “Hey, like, our kid, Ah’ll have a pint o’ Boddies un’ a meat’n’potato pie”
Customer 2: “Hey, like, our kid, Ah’ll have a pint o’ Boddies un’ a meat’n’potato pie”
Customer 3: “Hey, like, our kid, Ah’ll have a pint o’ Boddies un’ a meat’n’potato pie”

You get the idea. Then it was my turn.

Me: “Greetings my good man. Could I please see a menu?...and do you have any dry white wine?”

From the look of shock and horror etched of the faces of every individual, you’d think that I had detonated a dirty bomb.

My mate then attempted to climb up his own ringpiece in an elaborate attempt to avoid being associated with me, as the stunned attendant rubbed her eyes then reached into a cardboard box under the counter, pulled out a miniature plastic bottle of ‘wine’, wiped the inch thick layer of dust from it, unscrewed the top and handed it over to me.

And you know what? It wasn’t half bad :). I just don’t think I’m cut out for Northern life.

*Boddingtons. It's a beer of some sort. I understand it is quite popular t’up North ‘n’that.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:38, 4 replies)

youre describing
my saturdays. However, the crowd can be really irritatingly FUCKING POSH at Man U. In the stadium you cant buy pints, but only bottles of Bud - thats it. The m&p pies do not contain meat, potato or pie. Just foil, plastic, mush and shite.

The Trafford is fucking rough though, and Sir Matt Busby Way is as you describe. Never touch either. Theres a decent chippy t'other side of the cricket ground.

The 'catering' vans this season put their prices up. At the beginning of the season the cans of coke were £2!! All run by fucking scousers as well (they're cheap labour).

The food for gen pop at Utd is a fucking disgrace and has been for years. Its not much better in the exec.

But cider drinking shouldnt raise an eyebrow these days. I havent drunk boddies in 10 years though, I dont really know anyone who does. And it simply does not go with cucumber sandwiches.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:47, closed)

I couldn't get over...

The quality of the area. Yes the food was crap, but the the decor and the way the stadium presented itself was excellent.

I'm a Cov fan, remember, I used to go to Highfield Road when it was such a dog hole it actually looked better after it was demolished.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:55, closed)

Sounds like
You need to get down South and watch some rugby at Twickenham. Nobody bats an eyelid at requests like 'a pint of cider please' or 'what wine do you have?'. I'm biased though, I dont understand the allure of watching football.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:25, closed)

I've been
banned from going or even asking to be taken to the football (wolves) by my very feminine femal friend - as apparantly the supporters won't find my West brom (home made) kit as funny as I will...

Oh well...
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 18:17, closed)