Walking home from the pub one day, in a very cheerful mood, eating chips
saw two other chaps on the street and drunkenly said "evening" and offered them a chip. I was immediately accused of taking the piss and threatened with a pasting so I did what any self respecting internet hard man would do and legged it. I got to my mums house which was on the street I was on, ran into the house and locked the door. They started hammering on the door so I opened the window and said that I had had a lovely evening and I really didn't want any trouble and to please leave me alone. They said I had to come down and shake hands. I refused so they kicked my mums front door down. It was a multi locking point double glazed PVC door and they were in such a rage that they actually kicked the frame out of the wall. My mums place is on the main street of the town so it was all seen on CCTV, the police arrived, they were arrested, it all went to court and they had to pay a fine which covered about half the value of the door. Their defence in court was that they thought I was taking the piss. I haven't offered a stranger a chip since. The worst part of the whole thing was phoning my wife at 2am to explain that I was going to be late home because I had to give a statement to the police because I had ran to mummy when threatened and got her front door kicked in.
( Peej, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 12:52, 9 replies)

I kicked
Your mums back doors in
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 12:58, closed)

Textbook

( Peej, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 12:59, closed)

nicely

(alright alright, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 14:12, closed)

alright, perfumed ponce

(alright alright, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 13:39, closed)

alright

( Peej, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 13:56, closed)

I had a friend who did the same thing. Well I say the same, it was very different
He was a hard man and was eating chips, he noticed some youngsters (neds/chavs/i.e younger than him but not like 12) eyeing him. He says, "want a chip?" to them and one says "yes." He steps forward to take a chip from the hard man, indeed takes a chip and my friendly hard man shoves the hot bag of chips into the scallywags face at the same time dropping another scamp with his boot. He got into his Honda Accord and drove off.

This may have been in a film, but this happened before the film. £5 to any person who can think of the film. Not Old Boy, that was much worse.

Medication, that's what you need. time for a lie down.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 14:11, closed)

Was the film
"Eat, Pray, Love"?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 14:40, closed)

Transporter 4: The Klumps

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 14:41, closed)

Star Wars.

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 15:01, closed)