Blasphemy, desecration, profanation, sacrilege, blimey, all sorts...
I was taken to a boyfriend's auntie's house for tea when I was about 16. Thought I was making a good impression by admiring the various (frankly rather bizarre, now I come to think of it) ornaments hanging on the lounge wall.

One was a huge string of wooden beads with a large cross hanging from one end.
Ooh, that's unusual, said I, and someone kindly took it down and passed it to me for inspection.

With all the family's eyes on me I wasn't sure what to do with it so I jokily hung it round my neck like a feather boa, wiggled my hips a bit and swung the cross around suggestively. Like a stripper, y'know.

Yes, it was a giant rosary, a souvenir from some European holy shrine, and no I'm not a Catholic and didn't know that and, why, no, I had no idea whatsoever how much I'd just insulted their faith and indeed their whole way of life.

The rosary was peremptorily returned to the wall and tea was served in stony silence. How I got out alive, I'll never know.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 22:14, 8 replies)

Hahaha.
When I was little, my mum took me to visit my gran in Ireland, who was a massively staunch Catholic. My parents had always made a point of bringing me up as far away from religion as possible, so the whole Catholic iconography was a closed book to me. My gran's house was festooned with religious trinkets like painted plates, holy water bottles, rosaries and the like, and one day on holiday I found a little kaleidoscope on the mantlepiece, except instead of having colourful refracting lenses inside, it was like a miniature slide show of Jesus and the saints. Drawing on my six or seven years' heathen education, I said "But who are all these famous people?"
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 22:34, closed)

I have witnessed worse things being done with a rosary

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 23:18, closed)

Are there
pictures?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:19, closed)

I do have to wonder, though...
why, at 16 years old - and visiting a boyfriend's family, acting like a stripper would ever be acceptable behaviour.

Rosary wearing, or otherwise?

Clicky, still.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 7:49, closed)

It wasn't a full strip, just a quick impression, a bit like those Tommy Cooper 'Just like that!' thing that people used to do.
Also, this was the mid-70s when the only stripper most people had seen was in old black and white films of Mata Hari.

How times have changed. These days I'd have to do a topless lap dance to cause the same level of outrage.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 10:54, closed)

That doesn't sound like any rosary I've ever seen
I suspect that it was actually some anal beads, and the cross was there to act as a flanged base to avoid the whole contraption being swallowed by the user's nipsy. That would explain their upset much better I think.

Did you happen to find a “neck massager” whilst you were there?
(Eukanuba, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 11:28, closed)

'it was actually some anal beads' etc
That would explain a lot.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 22:52, closed)

Sort of related
My grandmother was a proper Irish Protestant, and once when I was round her house as a youngster something about the Orangemen marching came on TV. As this is a fundamentally ridiculous thing to be doing, and as they look fucking stupid with the juxtaposition of their suits, bowler hats and bright orange lapel things, I was quite visibly amused by the whole spectacle.

Given that religious Irish people have no sense of humour, my gran gave me a proper telling off. I certainly didn't understand why back then, and frankly I barely understand it now.
(Eukanuba, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 11:33, closed)