Not the shortest. (And, if you do believe in God, I have no qualms with that!)
There's a place to try to convince me of my wrongdoings and find spiritual peace. It is NOT my doorstep. Especially with two young kids weaving in and out of my legs. I will entertain you, briefly. I will remain indifferent to your cause. BUT, if you press me, I will retort.

So, to the harridan who refused to give up, I would like you to return to my door, where I would be happy to explore the emotions I seem to have brought to light on your last visit.

"God, God God etc."

"So, what was it that made you find your God? You see, in my limited experience, every person I've seen in your position has had to sink to the lowest depths in order to be in such a state that your God is the only avenue left. For some it's been drugs, for others prostitution, and even one of my direct family has been affected by alcohol only to 'find' God. My point is, no-one I know has found God by informed contemplation. So, what was it with you?"
She hasn't replied to me yet, so I have no idea what her motivations actually were.

I alienated my entire family, from extended family. After the death of a close one, the various relatives you never see came out of the woodwork. Having never met them, I was a bit disappointed to be grilled over dinner as to my religious leanings, and how important they were. I could see my side of the table (immediate family) getting a bit freaked out by the over zealousness of this aunt, who asked me what my thoughts on God were.

"Well," I managed, through a mouthful of wake-food, "I think God and religion have been a most effective way of controlling the masses for many years."
That shut them up. In fact, we haven't spoken since.

As to my disclaimer in the title, by all means, believe what you have to to get you through this life, please don't try to convince me that yours is the only way. I don't mean to offend, after all, you haven't offended me, yet.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:51, 7 replies)

REPENT SINNER
I don't know what the hell to say to god-botherers, frankly I'm too embarrassed. It's like talking to an adult who believes in the tooth-fairy.
( Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:58, closed)

So, basically
this "God" of yours is just like Santa Claus, right?
(ubergeekian, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 11:30, closed)

I didn't really get very far into that, bit too long and ranty
but just to help you here, next time just say 'No thanks' and shut the door. Works fine.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 11:03, closed)

Aw, you missed the best bit!*
*May not apply to my post*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 11:37, closed)

You missed the bit where the old cunt bothered him at home for no good reason.
If you knock on someone's door, completely unsolicited, to try to push anything onto them you deserve all you get, even if they rip your arms off and shove them up your pathetic, deceitful arse.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:20, closed)

I find religion to be a lot like a 10inch penis.
Congratulations and all that if you have one, but don't feel you have to come over to my house and try to ram it down my throat.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 11:25, closed)

Great!
I'll have to remember this next time I get herded by them between uni and the train station. Although I once got stopped in the street, and to this day I still don't know where it came from but I just blurted out "no thanks, I'm a satanist." Ah the look on his face was just a picture, there's no come back to that in the training manual I guess.
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:56, closed)