Devastating Put-Downs
Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)
( , Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)
( , Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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In my early 20s
Because of a combination of the medication I was on (which gave you a tremendous appetite whilst causing your metabolism to grind to a halt) and not cycling about 25 miles a day, I began to put on weight. I went from slightly over 9st to nearly 16st in little under 3 years.
Mrs SLVA's mate's dad, George had a habit of picking me up on it. "Why aye Sandettie" for he was from Tyneside, "ye putting on a bit of weight". He would say every time I saw him (maybe every few months).
I used to ignore him anyway because he was a right know-it-all (and reminded me of Rigsby from Rising Damp for some reason), pontificating on everything and anything, all the while gesturing at you with his pipe. This along with the fact that his rambling anecdotes were just plain shit.
One day he's present in my company, and he clocks me and starts with his usual Oscar Wilde class quips,
"You're getting a bit big Sandettie, have ye not lost any weight since we last met?"
"Fuck off you bald cunt" before I could stop myself. I then saw the look on his face and on his dozy simpleton of a wife's face. I was about to apologise when I saw Mrs Sandettie struggling very hard to keep a straight face and I just burst out laughing and left the room.
He never really said anything after that, probably because every time I saw him afterwards, I would run my fingers through my hair.
( , Fri 25 Nov 2011, 12:25, Reply)
Because of a combination of the medication I was on (which gave you a tremendous appetite whilst causing your metabolism to grind to a halt) and not cycling about 25 miles a day, I began to put on weight. I went from slightly over 9st to nearly 16st in little under 3 years.
Mrs SLVA's mate's dad, George had a habit of picking me up on it. "Why aye Sandettie" for he was from Tyneside, "ye putting on a bit of weight". He would say every time I saw him (maybe every few months).
I used to ignore him anyway because he was a right know-it-all (and reminded me of Rigsby from Rising Damp for some reason), pontificating on everything and anything, all the while gesturing at you with his pipe. This along with the fact that his rambling anecdotes were just plain shit.
One day he's present in my company, and he clocks me and starts with his usual Oscar Wilde class quips,
"You're getting a bit big Sandettie, have ye not lost any weight since we last met?"
"Fuck off you bald cunt" before I could stop myself. I then saw the look on his face and on his dozy simpleton of a wife's face. I was about to apologise when I saw Mrs Sandettie struggling very hard to keep a straight face and I just burst out laughing and left the room.
He never really said anything after that, probably because every time I saw him afterwards, I would run my fingers through my hair.
( , Fri 25 Nov 2011, 12:25, Reply)
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