Paternity NOT in doubt
Back when I was a wee one, my mum and step-dad attend a parents' meeting at school. My step-dad makes an intervention during the discussions, which is greeted with some heckling. One particularly stinging comment was "why in this man here, when he's not even the father?".

Cue the mother of all put-downs by snarky step-dad: “unlike every other man present, I can be 100% certain that they are not my children".
(DominusVobiscum My crack dealers are angels, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 11:26, 7 replies)

Legend

(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 16:13, closed)

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but... doesn't that make your mum sound like a bit of a slag then?
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 17:14, closed)

The key is "step-dad"
Not any random bloke, but her partner for almost 30 years already, ever since my parents' divorce. I used that anecdote to introduce them during my wedding reception.

Not being our biological father, he was the only one certain. Every other father around had to trust his wife's word...
(DominusVobiscum My crack dealers are angels, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 17:23, closed)

No no, I got that bit - It just sounded like your step-dad was certain of his non-relation to you, but that any of the other men present could well have been your father.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 18:21, closed)

Nope
don't see your point...

@OP - love the post:)
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 20:42, closed)

That's the way I read it too.

(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 7:39, closed)

Me too.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:54, closed)