Some kitchen insults (not sure whether these count as put-downs)
I worked in kitchens for years and the culture is that people constantly insult each other as a way to compensate for being in each other's face all the time. It's affectionate, really. Unfortunately on bad days, we'd sometimes forgot ourselves and extended the abuse to awkward customers. Here's some stuff I remember shouting above the clattering pots:

This plate's for that bloke in the corner with a face like Edwina Currie is sucking him off.

That arty-farty guy who wouldn't say "please" looks like Moby just joined the Thunderbirds. I can't believe he used four syllables just to say "latte".

Coffee for the Grunting Salford Twat.

(To an Irish colleague): Go put your horse in the lift.

Which came first; miserable Mancunians, or fucking Morrissey?

To the Australian and Japanese staff: See that woman who just waltzed in and queue-jumped? (Dawn French) She's some scrag-end off the telly. Please serve her instead of me, as I'm worried some tiny flicker of recognition may cross my face and massage her pathetic ego.

To a woman who insisted on ignoring the no-smoking signs: You may want your clothes to stink and your face to look like a mile of gravel track, but other customers don't. Get out.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 11:04, 2 replies)

I think you'll find that most Australians know who Dawn French is, sadly...
(ridethefader, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 1:34, closed)

The people I worked with didn't recognise her

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:59, closed)