Misplaced intercourse
Years ago when I was but a fresher at university and had alongside others established a group of friends who'd always go to the pub/club together (or generally just hang out a fair bit) it came about that my 19th birthday was coming up, and so a good friend of mine from back home "Keith" arranged to come up for it, to hang out with us, go to a club, and annoyingly demonstrate how much more nice stuff a 'working man' could buy casually on a weekend.
So we were all drinking, and much like most friends do when introduced to your new friends, they attempt to bond by taking the piss out of you mercilessly. Old stories are dredged up, indiscretions and idiotic behaviour dug out the closet. Your 'new you' shattered in front of your new friends who never knew the old you - all with the best possible intention of having a good time, getting on with everyone and being remembered.
So, a few hours into things, drinks flowing "keith" decides to tell the Epic tale of how i'd slept with a girl called Wendy, a girl of reportedly looser knicker elastic than was deemed appropriate (probably unfairly to be honest) and whom he'd decided was ugly beyond comparison (my memory is that she was alright if i'm honest), and she spent the greatest amount of time telling my new friends who "he f-cked wendy, wendy's f-cking minging, what a beast, she's horrible".... I let this carry on for a good while before pointing out "No I didn't Keith, that was you, you did"...

He shut up for quite some time after that, but recovered well enough for a good night out.
(Universon, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:44, 7 replies)

So your story is you slept with a girl, and Keith had slept with her as well.
Are you from Norfolk? Was it your sister? Is Keith actually your dad?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 13:33, closed)

uh no......
My story was that: Keith had said that I had slept with her and that she was a foul despicable creature and that I should be laughed at for doing just that such was the wrongness in my actions. I then pointed out that I had not slept with her, it was he whom has slept with her, hence "misplaced intercourse".
(Universon, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 13:36, closed)

So your story is
you've not slept with a girl?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 16:47, closed)

It's the qftw archetype.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 16:54, closed)

"he whom has"
Lovely. You're an idiot. I'm not surprised you're still a virgin.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 16:53, closed)

Multipost, multipost!
Which 1 came first Shambles?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 18:48, closed)

What the fuck are you drooling about now, you feeble-witted lapdog?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 8:59, closed)