The only 'words' I knew....
Years back I was in Sweden for a conference/convention, everything went great for the 3 days we were there, and due to getting on well with one of the guys helping organize things we got comp'd on a number of things including being invited to attend a dinner/entertainments evening by Compaq etc...

After the last night of the conference the venue returned to its normal weekend capacity, a sort of nightclub, with about 6 different areas. It opened at 12 midnight and closed at 5am. Now anyone i've ever met/known has always worked on the principle that unless specific hours/times are discussed, that when you're out partying/getting wasted the word "tomorrow" refers to when you'll wake up. So if I say "tomorrow" at 2am, i'm referring to my next waking day, rather than in 22+ hours time. Unfortunately this doesn't translate as well outside the country.

The night draws to an end, and we're trying to leave (my friend John and I) to get back to our hotel, when this Sweden girls arm shoots out, grabs me and insists on a dance. "OK" I thought, and she promptly thrust her leg between mine and pretty much sat on my thigh, ready to start dancing in an intimate manner... and then the music started "a wim a way a wim a way, in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight". Yep no backbeat, nothing. Kiddies birthday party hug dance over John and I got our coats and exited the building.

As we walked along talking, with our newfound Swedish friend, it slowly dawned on us (after about 2 miles) that she was coming back to the hotel with us... nobody had asked or invited her, and we hadn't been particularly aware, so polite enquiries were made as to whether she lived this way etc... and it turned out that she didn't, but she was coming back to spend the night with me... (this isn't the only time this happened that year either, very weird) and i'd had no idea, not so much as kissed the girl, not so much as got her name, or had much of a conversation with her... oh well.

She wasn't the best looking, but I hadn't ticked Sweden off the imaginary map yet, so I figured "What the hell" and enjoyed her company in a variety of positions for a number of hours. However....

In the morning she kicked off horribly when she saw that packing was underway, complaining that "you told me you go tomorrow", having obviously assumed that I would now be spending the day with her, rather than catching the 11am bus and the 1.30 ryanair flight I was booked on. She went absolutely mental, cursing (I assume) and abusing me in Swedish, ranting and raving (and by now John was in the room and sat down witnessing the spectacle).... all I could think of doing, the only possible response I could come up with was:

"Irsky Dirksy Chirsky In De Birsky" (and more) in the voice of www.youtube.com/watch?v=auXrmn5uqOk

Not sure how funny it was to her (not very), but we laughed all the way home, and any time it's mentioned.

(note: Chirsky In De Dirsky = Chicken In The Basket)
(Universon, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 13:52, 2 replies)

Long story short,
you couldn't get it up?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:41, closed)

Apparently a large percentage of female Swedish students have STIs,
Did she even know what those noises were supposed to be?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:22, closed)