Well...
As you may have noticed from my stories, I've held a lot of strange jobs over the years. I've been a groom on a racetrack, I've been a house painter, I've been a waiter, I've been a cook, I've run rides in an amusement park... there are all kinds of jobs you do when you lack a college degree and need to pay the rent.

One of them was the time I worked in a pickle factory.

Much of the process is automated, of course- they wouldn't want contamination from people if they can avoid it. So there's a lot of complicated machinery to sort out the pickles by size and process them and put them into the jars and so forth.

Over time I got bored, of course... and one day it occurred to me to wonder what it would feel like to put my penis in the pickle slicer.

This was, of course, a very foolish and dangerous thing to do, and I knew it. But still, once the thought hit me I couldn't erase it from my mind. It stayed with me, haunting me until the day I finally had to do it.

I came home early that day. My roommate was waiting tables at that point, so he happened to be home when I arrived. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?"

"I got fired." I hung up my coat and got a beer. "I knew I shouldn't do it, but I stuck my cock in the pickle slicer."

"Are you nuts? Did you turn the pickle slicer on? What happened?"

"Yeah, I turned the pickle slicer on. Unfortunately they fired her too."

...I'll get my coat...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:14, 3 replies)

haha
old, but still funny
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:47, closed)

Take that spanging pan...

and dish out some heavy iron justice on yourself for that bad boy!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:54, closed)

...
...yeah, I know.

*self defenestrates*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:04, closed)