Not so much what I've done with it...
...more of what has happened to it (and I'm amazed it still works). And this is mostly down to the past 4 and a half years with the ex.

She has managed to...
Crush it.
Try to hump it dry.
Bite it.
Bruise it.
Stamp on it.
Punch it.
Knee it.
Twist it.
Make it bleed.
Roundhouse kick it.
Spill hot drinks on it.
Hit it with a mug.
Scratch it.
Take a chunk out of it a couple of times while wearing rings/bangles.

Although, these are just some of the bad things she did to it, she did do more enjoyable things to it over the years which more than outweighed the bad things.

Also, things I have done to it I'm a little (not totally) ashamed of...

Took photos of it and sent them to the ex lass via MMS while she was in France (nearly a fucking pound a pic, man).
Wanked it off using a Cadbury's Mini Egg tube (I was about 12).
Burned it on a radiator. (I was closing the window naked, oops).
Accidently flashed it to my ex's father.
Accidently waved it at a neighbour.


Fortunately, my penis has now been unharmed for just under a month now (since she dumped me), but I am out tonight, and hopefully some nice young lady will want to please it!

Any offers?

Length? Come and find out!
(ShaunyBoi has been surviving fires since, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:46, Reply)