Prick.
I recently parted company with the bloke who I was seeing for the past year. It was not an easy split. He could best be described as a little unhinged. Or as a cunt. But this QOTW is about pricks, so let's stick with that.

Our relationship was far from smooth and so we called it a day. The boundaries were still blurred though. I wanted to stay on good terms. He agreed. We hung out. It was easy and friendly and neither of us quite knew what was going on but it seemed okay.

No.

I went fishing with him and his mates a few Saturdays ago. As I sat on the riverbank, all birdsong and calmness and sunlight fragmenting on the water, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He never usually did that - he was never affectionate with me when we were together. I lay back against him and enjoyed the comfortable silence, then turned my face towards him and he kissed me. We slid hands into clothes and opened buckles and buttons and sneaked back to the van to continue. "Come to my gig later?" he asked as we were interrupted by the others returning. "You can stay the night if you want to have a drink." I agreed to all that he implied.

And so, that night, I helped him lug his gear to the pub. He was attentive and charming - played songs for me, chatted, laughed with me. We knew we'd be going home to finish what we'd started earlier. Ah, but I should've remembered how mercurial he is.

The landlord's daughter had been making eyes at him from the moment he came in. Each time he stopped for a break she'd be over trying to talk to him. Eventually his breaks began to get longer. He was talking back. Worse still, everything about his stance suggested he was responding to her. I watched from a table across the room as he leaned in close to listen to her. His mate saw it too, looked at me, at him, then marched over to try and casually break up the little scene. It didn't work. A sickening feeling was creeping over me - hurt mixed with disbelief. It was like watching a car crash unfold, knowing I was powerless to stop it. I could hear their laughter along with the white noise rushing in my ears. I got angrier and angrier. At this stage I'd had too much drink to be able to drive home. I was dependent on staying at my ex-bloke's flat and it was obvious he wanted some other company than mine. At the end of the night they were still chatting and flirting. I saw their heads moving closer together and felt physically sick at the idea that he'd kiss her while I was there, and only a few hours earlier his mouth had been on mine. I'd had enough. I walked over and said "Everything is packed up, shall we head now?". He broke off at the interruption, looked at me with disdain, picked up his guitar, thrust it at me and said "I'm busy. Here, take this to the van and wait for me there."

The guitar was not placed carefully in the van. I did not wait for him while he picked up some other girl to fuck. His mate got the keys and took me, shaking, back to my ex-bloke's flat. He turned up three hours later, smug and lairy. I haven't seen him since.

He should be ashamed of thinking with his penis. I'm told he is ashamed of where he put it that night. And, despite the fact that he possesses the most beautiful cock I have ever come across, I'm ashamed of getting so upset by a prick like that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:18, 15 replies)

The dude is a tosser
and it seems to me that you're still emotionally attached.

AVOID
AVOID
AVOID

The only way to get over it, from experience.

Sorry to hear of your pain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:27, closed)

well, currently we are not in contact
as he is now accusing me of having an affair with his mate. Fucking dumb.

Yeah, I'm trying to avoid. He's quite charismatic though, in a Hitler kind of way (only hotter).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:31, closed)

Hotter than Hitler?
*steals for sig*

The bloke needs a fucking slap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:48, closed)

Jeez!
Why is it that the most bright, intelligent and beautiful women still get hung up about pricks like him. There is no hope for women kind.
( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:30, closed)

I think it's because
situations like that (not necessarily blokes like that) mean that your self-esteem gets eroded, drip, drip, fecking drip, so your view of what's acceptable subtly shifts away from reality.

I swore I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else ever but after a couple of weeks I met someone who changed my mind about that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:34, closed)

who's that, his mate?
*jests*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 11:50, closed)

:)
nope. Even I can see at least 6 good reasons not to get it on with his mate.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:00, closed)

I understand that feeling but I just thought you'd be less susceptible somehow.
You are the friggin Messiah : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:40, closed)

My ex looks like Jesus
And new friggin' Messiahs are susceptible to that kind of thing. It obviously confused me or something.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:10, closed)

Sounds like a complete arsehole
Best well out of it. Cut off all ties all you'll never get over him. Christ knows why though!
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:11, closed)

The strange thing
about this sory is that I started to get chills down my spine when you mentioned the guitar.
The idea that you were going to do something nasty to a penis is bad enough, but a guitar...... a bridge too far.

Luckily, no descriptions of physical damage to either, phew. (Though your ex obviously needs some)
(Rsoles, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:15, closed)

I'm not in any way a vindictive person
and his guitar is lovely and is also his livelihood, so I'd never damage it. There are soooooo many ways I could've got revenge but I didn't and won't.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:18, closed)

He sounds flakey
I would have snapped if that was me. I was wronged big time once. Never again I said. Then I ended up going out with a nutter for 2 yrs. It's amazing how much good sex does to smooth over the problems.

Now that's over there are definitely going to be no more screw ups. There can't be, surely. I mean the manual I have on relationships is almost 600 pages long now. I know everything!
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:36, closed)

ha ha you said

'the most beautiful cock I have ever come across'

and we have a late entry for the pun of the week !

yes I'm tremendously mature..
(The Cats Twat, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 18:57, closed)

aye
it was entirely deliberate. He also speaks the biggest amount of jizz I've ever swallowed.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 20:45, closed)