Lesson learned as a young teenager...
...That when lying on an elevated style bed and perusing fine gentleman's art publications, it's best to avoid playing a Be-bop solo on the spunk trumpet while one's bedside lamp is switched on.

Otherwise one might find the impromptu menage-et-une shadow puppetry act is projected out of one's bedroom window, which isn't great when you live in a cul-de-sac.

*cringes*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 13:49, 12 replies)

You get a click for just for 'playing a Be-bop solo on the spunk trumpet'
You'd have got one anyway, but that's made my day!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:24, closed)

Hahah
This was a Top Tip in the Viz, worded very similarly I seem to recall
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:30, closed)

Ah, if it was...
...than it wasn't on my radar.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:39, closed)

It wasn't an accusation good sir
Just a badly phrased comment :)
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:45, closed)

The 'bebop solo on the spunk trumpet'
is Profanisaurus fo' sho'.

I know this because that's where I have *ahem* borrowed it from on more than one occasion.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:46, closed)

I can't claim patent on that expression...
...for it came from a good friend, who *does* own the Profanisaurus.

Should I swap the euphemism for "hand to gland combat"?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:50, closed)

I prefer
'shaking hands with the unemployed' - which has the benefit (to my knowledge) of not being a Viz one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:55, closed)

I assume that "Hand to gland combat" is also a Viz trademark?
Damn...

I use the phrase "Shaking hands with the Prime Minister" or "Voting New Labour" but then I'm very political.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:57, closed)

Really?!
How did I miss that one?

You...political?

Nah.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 15:14, closed)

For those occasions where you need a handy euphemism
www.b3ta.com/links/205316
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 18:06, closed)

You don't give up, do you?
I still like 'wobbling the stone'.
(tomfacedkillah has not tossed a dwarf since, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 18:38, closed)