Get away with murder
Go on then, you know you want to...

if you were 100% guaranteed to get away with it, in fact lets say you had been chosen by a TV phone in to kill the person of your choice by the method of your choice, who would you choose? On live TV of course.

I'm torn between Jade Goody being fed very slowly into an industrial strength woodchipper, or maybe Mel Gibson strapped to a Black and Decker workbench and a very large Viagra'd up stallion bumming him to death. After coating it's schlong with iron filings, glass fibers, deep heat and Texas Insanity Chilli sauce of course.

Shelebrity, nonentity, politician, call center workers, figures from history or the Maths teacher who touched you in a special way.

Get in!
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 15:36, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Justin Lee Collins
I would kill him by making him watch and listen to recordings of Peter Cook, because JLC is horribly allergic to comedy.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Victoria Beckham
Simply because. She's labouring under two misconceptions:

1) That she is in any way physically attractive

2) That her "celebrity" status is justified by any form of natural talent whatsoever, unless you count not eating as particularly clever.

I would like to see her staked to the ground, as a large tipper wagon reverses up and unloads several tonnes of her appalling marketing dirge on her, while accompanied by the woefully piss-poor "Out of your mind" which has been obviously overproduced to nullify the screechy awfulness of her singing voice.

I have endured for years what would kill her off in seconds.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:14, Reply)

PJM
I approve of your choice, and the soundtrack.

However, wouldn't it just be that little bit more fun to drown her in lard, or suffocate her under a mountain of burgers...She'd be faced with the ultimate dilemma (for her): die of drowning/suffocation, or eat something...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:48, Reply)

I'm not so sure.
Actually, if she were given the choice "Die or have your vocal chords removed", I wonder which she'd choose?

If she opted to be muted we'd at least be saved from her whiny complaints about tipped off paparazzi taking snaps of her as she puts petrol in her 4x4, not to mention her excruciatingly awful self-justification when being interviewed on chatshows.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 17 Jan 2008, 19:00, Reply)