Farting.
Now I know at first there will be many of you thinking, "Oh come on, farting is childish and unfunny", when it clearly isn't, but I shall tell you my tale of 'The Misplaced Fart' anyway.

Some years ago, I was sitting in a pub, drinking with two of my business partners and three prospective customers, in our preferred venue for a meeting. It soon became apparent that I was expecting. You know that bubbly build up as a generous portion of gas nears the exit. I decided, as the pub was otherwise quiet that I should adopt the NHGS or the No Hands Goatse Stance, where one raises one cheek to open the anus enough for the gas to escape without making a sound.
I think my error was to trust the opening was wide enough and probably pushed to hard as the resulting guff was released with a resounding blurt. A fart so great it could have frightened a police horse.

The people around the table were silenced. Glasses were put down and they all stared at me in disbelief. I decided to make light of it and began to joke about it when suddenly all the people sitting near to me began to stand up to make their escape. As the gas moved across the room more stood up. A bit like a one way Mexican wave. It was putrid. Foul. The worst smelling fart I had ever proudly produced. And no, we didn't get the business.
So why not be childish and unfunny and tell us your stories of embarrassing flatulence related capers.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 23 Feb 2008, 18:25, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Bindun, I'm afraid
Here
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Damn good one though..
A second one of farting would be better than 'have you seen a dead person'...
(irv made you eat your parents in a chilli on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 11:07, Reply)