getting shut of a stalker..
Ok, it was a bit stupid at the time (and still is) here goes.

Im a solicitor(queue hatred of unimaginable quantity) and got talking on the phone to this girl who used to be connected to my firm a few hundred miles away up north. she sounded cute. she said she looked like Halle Berry - so sounded even cuter.

Arranged to meet her when up north one day. Even though i was pissed, she looked more like Chuck Berry but "what the fuck" still worth a flirt and a bit of phone sex.

A couple of weeks passed and I just got bored. I know, but the novelty just wore off and maybe i just couldnt imagine her as Halle Berry any more.

The usual "im sorry but" turned to "fuck off and stop hastling me" to inventing a girlfriend (by then i had a real one but i wasnt going to tell her i had a stalker) who even told her to fuck off. no, 10 texts a night and countless voicemail messages. nothing bad enough to tell the police and anyway the real girlfriend would find out.

So, "lets cause her inconvenience" I arranged countell (actuallt 12) meeting with her and failed to turn up at the hotel - which was hundreds of miles away from where she lived - still no effect (maybe my phone sex was that good?)

she made the mistake of emailing me from work - so i grassed her in to her boss and she got the sack

still she contacted me.

getting a bit desperate i met up with her and had the worst possible sex - as humiliting as you can. i still cringe when i think about it.

nope, still keeps on coming

the only thing that worked - bought a sim card, sent her a text pretending to be from a friend telling her "we found your name in xxxxxx's phone, we dont recognise who you are - please contact us"...she did
"im sorry, xxxxxx died in a car crash last week"

success! a month of nothing from her..though i do miss the phone sex.

any tips on chucking someone for good (short of faking death)


****edit, im running the risk that "Halle" reads this in which case, i really am dead and this has been typed through a medium ****
(sarcasminasuit, Thu 8 May 2008, 21:19, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

"she made the mistake of emailing me from work - so i grassed her in to her boss and she got the sack"

followed by

"getting a bit desperate i met up with her and had the worst possible sex"

you must be proud of yourself, why doesn't it surprise me that you're a solicitor
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:52, Reply)

"she looked more like Chuck Berry"
that's fucking hilarious - I'm in fits at my desk and really shouldn't be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 May 2008, 14:13, Reply)