I have had more crap jobs than you can wave a shitty stick at
and one of the things I have learnt is that your oh so funny leaving stunt didn't stick it to the company or that manager you hated, it stuck it to your ex-work mates who hate the same job/manager that you do but don't have the luxury of fucking off to university, a better job, or the chance to mince around the world for 12 months.

The one thing all of my shitty jobs have had in common is that I have always got on with the people I worked with who did the same job. I have had managers and team leaders who I would have broken my feet on before I tired of kicking them in the genitals, but I have always managed to find some esprit de corps with my fellow wage slaves.

Which is why I am still amazed when people who I considered to be good friends have on their leaving day, fucked me good'n'proper with their "smash the establishment" actions. I'm sure they still boast about it down the pub, lets have a selection of some of my favourite ass-rapings by past colleagues:

Boast: "Ha ha, when I left the shop I worked in during the summer before uni, I stole loads of money and fags"

Reality: The police questioned me, the nice old owner didn’t make a profit that year and his insurance premiums went up. He went bankrupt 2 years later. Ha fucking ha.

Boast: "When I left my shitty lab job, I flushed away a load of samples"

Reality: I had to work 3 weekends on the trot to help some PhD students who were almost suicidal at the thought of 4 years of work literally flushed down the drain. Well done joker, we had a good laugh at that one (once Karen stopped crying).

Boast: "When I left my crap office job in the financial services, I deleted a hundred pending pension/mortgage/life assurance applications, I wish I could have seen my managers face..."

Reality: You cunting cunt. Who do you think had to log them back on the system? Who do you think had to explain and grovel to all the financial advisers and customers who wanted to know where their information and work had gone? "Yes" I would like to add you as a Facebook friend as I can now hunt you down and gut you like the backstabbing cunt you are.

Boast: "I spent a year as a trainee accountant, didn’t like it much as they kept sending me to college and I failed all my exams because I couldn’t be bothered. Before I walked out I sent a group email to all the clients saying that they were all being investigated by the Inland Revenue for massive tax evasion"

Reality: Actually not a problem. You are such an unemployable retard you cocked it up and it was bounced back to sender, we reported you to the ACCA and you will never work in anything but the hottest and noisiest of jobs. Of course, had you succeeded you would most probably have crippled a small practice that had bent over backwards to help you.

Moral of the story: So before you format the company server, please think of the people you like and are leaving behind.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 May 2008, 15:40, 13 replies)

Yes, yes, yes
I've had to pick up the pieces when twats have wrecked stuff before leaving. One had the audacity to ask if he could temp for us during the summer. Not bloody likely! A quick word with HR and his name is on the blacklist.

*clicks*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 22 May 2008, 15:45, closed)

This should win
because I think it's very true.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2008, 15:47, closed)

Couldn't agree more
I think the only exception to this is a few of the tales on here where people have been made redundant at short notice and with minimal compensation. Then, I can fully understand taking office equipment or whatever.
Otherwise, if you are choosing to move on, just move on.
Insisting on having the last word never makes you look cool, or hard, or clever. If you want your revenge, move on to a better life and leave the shit behind you. Best revenge of all = knowing that the petty bosses / colleagues are stuck there not having the options you have.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:10, closed)

Oh good
I thought I was going to get some stick for that post.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:13, closed)

aaaaaah you wanker
*runs out the door breaking things as he goes*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:21, closed)

Never been in such a situation
But I'm sure theres ways to fuck previous employers without screwing your mates/former-colleagues.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:34, closed)

I agree
There's no need to be a cunt about it.

Just leave.
(Stevie Ruggling, Thu 22 May 2008, 18:03, closed)

Very true.
There's never any reason to sabotage it for anyone else as they more than likely hate it as much as you do, and they'll resent you all the more for it later.

Plus a *click* for "mince around the world". It sounds like some kind of charity event.
( Maladicta, Thu 22 May 2008, 18:14, closed)

clickety
click
(09824739yhsidfhshfgq8weeq3e1, Thu 22 May 2008, 20:39, closed)

Good one
Very true, why screw over the poor assbaskets that you leave behind when you flounce out.

*clicky*
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 22 May 2008, 23:27, closed)

Top marks
I am with you 100%.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 23 May 2008, 0:53, closed)

so true
The people who make your job shit are usually totally unaffected by your leaving. They probably don't even notice. At least, in most cases...

My wife's just resigned, and what she told HR about the management ineptitude was so shocking to them that the CEO came to talk to her. Now there's going to be a wholesale culling of the useless wankers at the top and they're begging my wife to go back on more money.
(frankspencer, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:33, closed)

How many times can I click!?
So true. People are gloating that they pissed in something or wrecked work and it's normally the poor innocent people that suffer because of it :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 28 May 2008, 15:19, closed)