My Grandad's not racist.
He's just from a different era. A very, very racist era.
In all seriousness, I doubt he hates any member of another race. He's just got the habit of putting his foot in his mouth whenever he speaks to someone who's not white. Or, as he's got older, just anyone in general.

Imagine the family horror, therefore, when we realised Grandad was going to be in town whilst we met his favourite granddaughter Louise's new Chinese-Australian fiance, Hobart Xiao.*
We make small talk in the pub, while we wait for Grandad's inevitable arrival. Hobart's there with Louise, and he's getting on with everyone well enough.

But...everyone knows what's going to happen when Grandad arrives.
This means there's a little current of terror in the air, and nobody's really at their ease apart from the blissfully oblivious groom-to-be.

Cometh the hour of doom, and in saunters my Grandfather. He clocks Hobart. Hobart smiles back.
You can see Grandad's cogs turning. Grand-daughter? Check. Asian Fiance? Check. Ashen-faced family? Check. All present and correct. Initiating small-talk mode.

"So, you're Hobart, are you?"
"Yes, I am."
"You're Australian then?"
"Yes."
"Do you eat a lot of Chinese food at home?"

Oh God, here we go...

"Only every bloody day, mate, only every bloody day."

And they clicked! Perfectly! They bonded over cricket! Fuck me, they actually had spirited banter about cricket! If Grandad had given the bloke more of his blessing, he'd have married him himself!
But to cap it all, I overheard this conversation while they were both at the bar:
Hobart: "I like you Wilf. You're not uneasy around Asian people. Not like the rest of these bastards."

*Not his real name. His real name's even more ridiculous. And I'm not talking about the Xiao part.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 27 Oct 2011, 13:47, 6 replies)

I like this.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 13:56, closed)

Haha, this is fantastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 14:24, closed)

*salutes*
Down with political correctness. Up with this sort of thing.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 14:41, closed)

I think we have a winner!

(anvil, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 17:37, closed)

Clincher!
"I like you Wilf. You're not uneasy around Asian people. Not like the rest of these bastards."
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Fri 28 Oct 2011, 10:42, closed)

This
is what it is all about.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sat 29 Oct 2011, 5:21, closed)