I am a twat
Going on operations with the army is a lot like marriage, lots of fun at the start, and then periods of utter boredom punctuated by occasional moments of excitement.
This was the case when my unit was shipped out to the Balkans at the start of the Kosovo campaign. As Engineers we were responsible for going out first and arranging the infrastructure in Macedonia for the incoming troops. As I said at the start lots of fun at the begining, then we quickly descended into periods of utter boredom waiting for, well, anything to happen.
When squadies get bored we do one of two things work out or really work out. Our section commander at the time, Stevo used to run round the vehicle park for an hour, come back to the troop area, re hydrate then shower. I thought it would be funny if i switched his water for a water bottle filled with methanol alcohol, a clear liquid we used to top up the vehicles washer bottles.
On cue that day, Stevo went for his run, I switched bottles, he came back an hour later, took about 2 - 3 massive gulps then started throwing up.
At that moment we were all calling him all sorts, just generally taking the piss until the vomiting went on and on and on.
Medics got involved, an investigation happened and i was bust.
To this day I cant tell you why I did it, Stevo was a brilliant section commander and still remains a friend to this day, was it evil or me just being a cunt???????
(Hammy1801 may have scabies!, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 0:34, 9 replies)

Is "re-hydrate"
what self-important people do instead of having a drink?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 8:43, closed)

Maybe he trains so hard,
he comes back dessicated?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 9:45, closed)

Sounds a bit daft. You basically poisoned him.
On the other hand, if you had done it to James Blunt, you'd have won a Victoria Cross.
(username failed moderation, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 8:45, closed)

James Blunt: the only living person who is his own rhyming slang

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 9:08, closed)

Definitely evil.
Methanol can cause serious damage, including blindness.
Urine is much safer for these purposes.
(speedevil, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 10:32, closed)

yeh poisoning your friends for giggles
woo you

Methanol is a poison(in a lab the bottles have a skull & crossbones on them)

Methanol has a high toxicity in humans. If ingested, for example, as little as 10 mL of pure methanol can cause permanent blindness by destruction of the optic nerve, and 30 mL is potentially fatal, although the median lethal dose is typically 100 mL (4 fl oz) (i.e. 1–2 mL/kg of pure methanol)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 11:29, closed)

did you do it because
you were turned mad by all the mad shit you saw out there
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:12, closed)

In the old days
after a brief court-marshal you would have been shot at dawn. But at least you would have had a laugh.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:48, closed)

"On cue that day..."
You evil bastard! What are you doing to our language????
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:28, closed)