Alligators
Leaving a bush conference a day early from the Top End of Northern Territory, our trusty Land Cruiser shit itself. I've been to some isolated places, but Mary River is so far away from anything, that it even gave me the heebies.

No cars passing, not even pissing in public brought someone by, and just when all hope was lost and the four of us were drawing the short straws as to who gets eaten first, Ralph appeared.

Ralph was a truckie, it was his mother's country and he was heading our way. Ralph towed us 120km along our dirt track into the nearest human inhabited place. The greatest kindness, however, kicked in when towing us across the Alligator River. The snatch strap got caught in our axle mid way across and terror descended upon us because Alligator River isn't a whimsical Ozzie name to impress tourists.

Ralph got outta his car, at night, in the middle of a crocodile infested river, cut and reattached the strap and continued to tow us. Unfortunately crocs truly frighten me, so the most I could do was open my car door and tell him I would toot the horn if he got taken.

His humour and graciousness still affects me and Ralph is the bravest man I have met. Anything kind I do today is with him in mind and trying to match that level of awesome.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 10:19, 4 replies)

Is "bush conference" a posh name for an orgy?

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 11:19, closed)

Christ, I'd love to go birding in the Top End.
Somehow that sounds wrong, but I don't care.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 12 Feb 2012, 11:23, closed)

I went for a walk along a boardwalk in the Florida Everglades.
When I got back to the car there was an alligator sat right next to it. Nearly shat meself.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Feb 2012, 14:10, closed)

Wouldn't worry too much about being outside the landy in mary river,
The things lurking in there will swallow the whole thing with you inside it.
(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 22:15, closed)