The other day
having just moved into a top floor flat above a row of ictorian shops, I was itching to get into the loft to see what kinds of stuff I could find. Anyway, up I went with a torch, looking around and finding trunks of stuff. Unfortunately, the trunks were empty. However, due to the design of the house I knew that there was a turret area in the loft and I was sure that this either held a WW2 anti aircraft gun or a giant telescope. As I swung my torch round to find the said turret, I noticed that there was a mattress next to it and next tot his mattress was a bucket - a bucket for shitting in after waking up on that mattress! I then noticed aerosol cans on the mattress as well.

As I swung round to get out of the loft, I noticed that the frame work of the roof was not in a pattern, that there was bits of wood and what appeared to be trapdoors where there shouldn't be.

SO I came downstairs and had a cigarette, contemplating what to do when I suddenly heard a crashing coming from up there. Shit I thought, he knows I know he is up there and he is gonna get me. I went and woke up my girlfriend and said to her very quietly "I think there is a man in the loft" and recounted to her exactly what I had seen. I went and got the biggest knife I had from the kitchen, and prepared to face the loft man.

So, I went into the loft and climbed through the various beams, making my way to this bastards mattress. shitting myself I got closer and closer, realising that the mattress was covered in dust and haddened been used for quite a few years.

I also checked out the trapdoors and realised that these were just roof access.

I am much better at scaring people
(Clivicus, Fri 23 Feb 2007, 16:17, Reply)